


Harry Potter-Lupin-Black, the boy-of-hyphens

by GeremyIsNotAlright (Tobyisagoodboy), Tobyisagoodboy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, And Urns, BAMF Luna Lovegood, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hagrid is the nicest, Harry is a Good Friend, Harry is a Little Shit, Harry is a little attached, Harry isn't insane insane but he's still odd and unusual, How the fuck did Harry get in hufflepuff, Hufflepuff Harry Potter, Insane Harry Potter, Keep her away from Lucius Malfoy, Luna is a pyromaniac, M/M, Multi, Or was it the other way around, Other, Powerful Harry, Remus hates Thursdays, Stupid Hyped up Half-bloods think the Black family will follow them, Voldemort Bashing, Voldemort does seating charts, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, Walburga helps raise Harry, Walburga is a fun Grandmother, Walburga is almost exactly like Sirius, Why did I write this? I don't think you want to know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-03-29 09:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19017193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobyisagoodboy/pseuds/GeremyIsNotAlright, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobyisagoodboy/pseuds/Tobyisagoodboy
Summary: Voldemort has a nervous breakdown every time he has to change the seating chart, Sirius Black does not hand over his godson to Hagrid and does not go to Azkaban, and Remus Lupin basically speeds back to Britain when he hears what went down.Sirius is a carbon copy of his mother, Walburga, who absolutely hates Voldemort almost as much as she hates Lucius Malfoy. She lives in the only actual safe place that he can bring his godson, and that is how Harry Potter grows up with a grandmother, two fathers, a spy of an uncle, and the three most amazing friends the world could give. He takes after Walburga and Sirius in the sense that Thursdays were the day you should out do yourself.(Harry is raised by Remus, Sirius, and Walburga, Befriends Ron Weasley, Daphne Greengrass, and Luna Lovegood, and causes all around chaos for everyone involved. There is heart ache, there is heart warmth, and there is a shit ton of laughter and embarrassment to go around.





	1. Chapter 1

Voldemort rubbed his temples roughly, the task at hand required perfect precision, one wrong move and everything could blow up. No, he had to be extremely careful.  
  
His forehead was starting to get a little damp. God-dammit, this was harder than anyone would have thought. Why did he have to burden himself with this? Well, actually, he knew why he had to burden himself with this. He couldn’t trust anyone else to understand what was needed. No, he couldn’t trust anyone else to do it correctly. If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.  
  
“And I can’t sit Pettigrew anywhere because Severus would snap if he even laid eyes on the rat. Bellatrix can’t be near me or I’ll end up cursing her, and yet she can’t be too far or she’ll get too distracted again. Rudolphus will be next to her, of course, he’s one of the few people who aren’t scared of her… Crabbe and Goyle will have to be next to each other, they don’t really get close to anyone else, maybe Nott can sit next to them.  
  
“I’m not sure I even want Alekto to have a place at the table, she unnerves everyone else. Fuck, and Severus can’t be anywhere near Bellatrix because they hate each other, but Regu- No that won’t work because Regulus is a spy at the moment…Lucius can be near Severus and Narcissa doesn’t come to the meetings because she stays home with Draco, wait, It will be two days before Draco’s birthday, Lucius probably won't attend. Cyrus Zabini can’t attend because of his wife, Callidora, and their son Blaise, who will be a year and a half on the very day of the meeting.” After their last raid he had to update their seating arrangements as more issues had become painfully obvious.  
  
He still couldn’t believe that so many of his death eaters had children so close together. Lucius and Narcissa had a baby, Callidora and Cyrus had a baby, The Notts had a baby, The Parkinson’s had a baby too. Everyone was getting pregnant and having a baby. He had to rearrange a lot of people, as Bellatrix was getting more and more annoyed that she wasn’t having a baby.  
  
“Rabastan!” After looking back over his chart, he came to realize that he had forgotten about Rabastan LeStrange. However, it was easy to overlook, as the man could be sat next to just about anybody, so long as their name was not Bellatrix, as she still owed him money from five years ago apparently.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was four months later that Voldemort attacked the Potter family. Surprisingly, the scowl on his face as he murdered James Potter was not actually because of James Potter, it was because he had realized that he would have to rearrange the seating again. How annoying.  
  
He made his way up the stairs, he needed to hurry up and get this over with. He really needed to get back so he could start on the seating chart again.  
  
“Step aside, Lily Potter.” His voice was cold and his scowl worked to his own benefit, even though it had nothing to do with her at all. He wasn’t even thinking about what he was doing, he was only thinking about what to do with the empty chair that belonged to Cyrus Zabini. To be fair to his memory, he lasted longer than the first man to marry Callidora. Honestly, they had warned him, they had warned him a lot, she’s going to kill you, they had all said, and look, she did.  
  
“Not Harry, anyone but Harry.”  
  
“Step aside.” Why did I make that promise to Severus? Honestly, I really shouldn’t have. I promised I would try to spare the woman.  
  
“Avada Kedavra,” it was not fault of mine if she wanted to die for her child, a noble death, but unnecessary. He turned towards the toddler, “You’ve caused great trouble for me, I have to rearrange everyone’s seats now. Not to mention the prophecy. Now, you must know that I don’t normally kill infants, nor do I usually believe in prophecies, but you must understand that I cannot take such a chance.” Voldemort justifying himself to a small child probably was quite the sight to see, after all, he was trying to reason with the child that the child's death was the only solution, and that the child was causing problems for him.  
  
The inky haired infant just stared at him with teary eyes.  
  
“Mu-mu,” the young child sobbed, Voldemort sighed and raised his wand once more, preparing to do one of the few things he actually had never done. Not that he knew he was going to do something he had never done, he only knew he was going to kill an infant, and while this was not the first time he had done so, he still didn’t really want to do it.  
  
“Avada Kedavra.” it was said in a normal voice, for he had used the spell enough times that he did not have to yell it. He only had to say it. He was not prepared, however, for what happened next, and the very next thing he knew was that he was not in his body, and that his body no longer existed. He fled.  
  
Now, Harry Potter on the other hand, felt extreme pain as something lodged itself into his head, and so he screamed, he cried, and he sought the comfort of whoever would come for him. Wormtail came, and wormtail left. Leaving him. But that was fine, because the infant never really liked him.  
  
And then, Padfoot came, and Padfoot picked him up, and Padfoot was going to take him somewhere safe and sound.  
  
“Pa’foo!” and his tears started to leave, because he had his Padfoot.

* * *

 

  
Sirius Black was having the worst night of his life. His best friend was dead and it was because of one of their other best friends, and the other one that didn’t know anything probably thought it was all his fault.  
  
He knew his impulse control was non-existent, he knew that If there was anything he shouldn’t do, it was start to hunt down Peter right away. No matter how much he wanted to do it, he wouldn’t. Now, don’t think that was because of his impulse control. No, it had nothing to do with having any sort of control. The only thing that was keeping him from going after Peter was the fact that his recently orphaned Godson was clinging to him.  
  
The only control that Sirius had was in the form of his Godson. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to get to the ministry as fast as he could. He would tell his boss everything. After all, he was an auror, and he would submit under veritaserum to prove that he had done nothing wrong. He was going to get legal custody of his Godson, even if he had to do some things he didn’t want to.  
  
Hagrid showed up just as he was about to leave. What was Hagrid doing there? How did Hagrid know already?  
“Sirius, Dumbledore wants me ta bring ‘im young ‘arry,” as if that would convince him to hand over his godson, no, he needed to keep his godson with him. It was important, because Harry was the last bit of family besides Remus that he had, and he was going to raise his Godson.  
  
“You can tell him that I’ve got Harry, and that I am going to go tell the Aurors what happened. I’ve got him, he will be fine.” Hagrid hid his shock, but nodded. He understood that Sirius was Harry’s Godfather, and that James would have wanted Sirius to take Harry.  
  
He left to tell Dumbledore that Harry was safe, and Sirius left to take Harry and himself to the ministry.  
  
As soon as he burst into Amelia Bone’s office she knew something was wrong. He was holding the son of James Potter, and then she knew something was really wrong.  
  
“Amelia, he got them. He got James and Lily. I don’t know what happened, but he tried to get Harry and I don’t know how but Harry survived. It was Peter, it was Peter who was the secret keeper. I’ll go under veritaserum. I will, but you have to make sure Harry’s alright, and don’t let Dumbledore take him. I know he means good, but sometimes he doesn’t always do the most reasonable things.” Sirius wouldn’t stop until Amelia promised that she would make sure Harry got treatment and was not able to be taken.  
  
“I will call in a few other Aurors, and we will put you under veritaserum, we will bring in Bagnold too, just so she can’t spin things another way.” Sirius nodded, and Amelia called in a private healer and a few Aurors along with the Minister.  
  
The minister administered the Veritaserum.  
  
“What is your name?”  
  
“Sirius Orion Black.” it was said in the blankest tone that any of them had ever heard from the man before them.  
  
“It’s working.” Amelia’s declaration allowed the questions to begin.  
  
“Were you the secret keeper of the Potters?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Who was?”  
  
“Peter Pettigrew.”  
  
“Are you sound enough to take Harry Potter with you and to become his guardian?” They all knew that his family had a madness that ran through their blood.  
  
“I will always be stable enough to take care of my Godson.” It was unnerving how emotionless that sentence was, but they knew it was just the affects of the potion.  
  
“Are you in anyway loyal to Voldemort?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“What happened tonight?”  
  
“I felt like something bad was going to happen, so I rushed over just to make sure that James, Lily, and Harry were fine. But by the time I got there James and Lily were dead and the house was a wreak. I rushed up the stairs to make sure Harry was okay. He was crying and his forehead was bleeding, but otherwise he was fine.  
  
“I went to bring him here. Then Hagrid showed up, saying that Dumbledore requested that Harry be taken to him. I knew if I didn’t have Harry I was going to end up hunting down Peter, and Harry needed me, so I refused to give him Harry. He seemed to understand, and he left. After that I came straight here.” With that, the questioning was over. Amelia administered the antidote.  
  
“We would like for both you and Harry to stay in the safest location you know of, Mr. Black. Is there anything we can do for you or Harry?” Bagnold was most sympathetic over what had happened to the man and the child.

Sirius Black thought of the safest location he knew that he would have access to at the moment and he wanted to beat his head against something. The safest location he knew about besides Hogwarts was a place that he didn’t want to go to. Not to mention he probably wouldn’t be welcome, but at least he knew that none of Voldemort’s followers would be there.  
  
But he knew that he would have control over the situation. He didn’t want to admit it, but he would have to stop by Gringotts first. A place safer than Gringotts, safer than Hogwarts probably. But first he needed to do something he was supposed to do two years earlier. He was going to have to claim his Lordship over the most Ancient and Noble house of Black.  
  
He sighed internally and looked at the people around him.  
  
“No, I just need to go do something at Gringotts, and then I will head straight to the one place that nobody would think to look for both me and Harry.” And wasn’t that the truth? Nobody would look for him at Grimmauld place, nobody would look for him at his childhood home.

* * *

 

  
The Goblins were shocked that Lord Black had finally come to claim his Lordship. They had been sending him letters for over a year telling him that he needed to come and take his Lordship ring. He was the only one the ring would accept. He was technically the only one allowed to claim the Lordship. The former lord Black had left him as his heir. Arcturus had been waiting for his Grandson to take the title.  
  
While the Goblins may have been shocked, it was nothing compared to how Walburga Black felt when Kreacher woke her up at two in the morning to tell her that her filthy blood traitor son was at the door with the Lordship ring on.  
  
She sighed loudly as she made her way to the entryway of her home, the sight of her eldest son standing there with a baby in her arms.  
  
“So you’ve finally decided to return home and claim your title as Lord of the family.” How anyone could look and sound so condescending while in a nightgown was beyond Sirius as he stared at his mother. She looked older than he remembered, but that was to be expected.  
  
“Hello Mother. Don’t think I’ve done this because I’ve finally grown up. I haven’t grown, and I wish that I didn’t have to claim my Lordship. I’m only here to protect my Godson.” She looked at the infant in his arms with something close to disdain. Of course her son was still tangled up with the supposed ‘light’ side. Of course he hadn’t actually seen the errors in his behaviour. But at least he was home.  
  
“I don’t care what your reasoning is. You’ve finally claimed your rightful title and you better act like Lord Black. Now, go clean up, Kreacher will tend to the infant.” His sneer matched hers as she said that, and for once in a very long time, you could see just how much he looked like her.  
  
“I will not let Kreacher touch my godson.” Anybody that had met both Walburga and Sirius Black would be able to tell you that the two were too much alike, and that is why they always but heads. They were two of the most stubborn people that anyone had met. Although, if they were in the room, you would claim that they were complete opposites, if only to appease them.  
  
“Then I will tend to him, but you are going to go clean up.” She wasn’t going to budge, the infant needed the care of someone who wasn’t cover in soot and blood and dirt. The child needed to be fed and put to bed, and Sirius needed to wash up.  
  
“You’re no better. You wouldn’t know how to comfort a child if the exact instructions were written on it’s forehead.” His glare was icy, and he wasn’t letting go of his Godson any time soon.  
  
“Sirius Orion Black, you Will go and get into the shower while Kreacher makes food for your Godson. I will hold said infant and make sure he is absolutely comfortable. You may be an adult, but I am still your mother, and you will listen to me right this instance.” Walburga got close enough to jab him in the chest as she said so, though, not very hard as he was holding an infant. She was shorter than him now, and probably seemed less threatening than she once had, but she was still a force to be reckoned with.  
  
“Don’t think you’ve won. I’m only doing this because I’d prefer that my godson didn’t get covered in soot.” This was one of the few times that he would ever back down, and it was only for the benefit of his godson.  
  
Said godson was observing the woman that Padfoot had called Mother. As if he could tell her intentions were true, his face lit up slightly after a few moments of watching her. He even giggled slightly as he was passed over to her.  
  
“Pa’foo mu!” It sounded as if he were cheering about meeting his Padfoot’s mother. Walburga looked at the infant in her hands for a moment before looking back at her son.  
  
“I see he’s quite intelligent for his age. I suppose that’s for the best, I’m too old to be able to handle idiots. I met Narcissa’s brat just a little while ago, and he obviously got none of the Black family intellect.” Walburga’s face nearly twisted as if she swallowed a lemon, but she restrained herself, taking in account the small child in her arms.  
  
“Dear Merlin, let us hope he doesn’t have the Malfoy hair.” He thought he had muttered it low enough that she wouldn’t hear him properly, but she did.  
  
“Yes, I hoped as much before I had met him, alas, our prayers have been left unanswered. Even if he does have any features from Narcissa, the hair overpowers them beyond hope. Now, go bathe.” She carried the young boy through the house until she reached the sitting room, not even bothering to check if her son was doing as he was told.  
  
“Kreacher!” he popped in as soon as he heard his name.  
  
“Yes Mistress? What can Kreacher do for you?” He was basically grovelling at her feet as she held the Potter boy.  
  
“Prepare something soft for the child. Perhaps something Regulus or Sirius would have enjoyed at the boys age.” With a very low bow, Kreacher did as he was told.  
  
“Hello little Potter, I suppose you’ve been through a rough night. Don’t you worry, Kreacher will have something for you in no time, and then you can go to sleep.” If anyone had seen it occurring, they would surely die of shock. Walburga Black was comforting a small child, and hopefully nobody would ever know about it. She didn’t mind if they knew that she had comforted her own children, but this wasn’t her child. This child was a Potter. That made a difference in how she was supposed to feel. Though, if her son properly adopted him, he would be her very first and probably only grandchild.  
  
Maybe it would be able to even itself out like that.  
“Your father was as much of a Potter as possible. And Your Godfather, while he may not realize it, is a Black, through and through. He can deny it all he wants, but a true Black never bows to anybody’s will but his own. Especially Not a hopped up half-blood, not anybody. And he may not see it, but he bows to no-one. I wonder who you will take after, Little one.”


	2. Who would have guessed that personality was genetic?

Dumbledore had flopped down at his desk and began to work on his third Lemon Drop of the hour. Sirius Black, who had been proven to not have betrayed the Potter’s mere hours earlier, had taken Harry Potter against his wishes. He had no control over it, and he doubted he could convince Sirius Black to hand over the child.

Then he got news that Sirius Black claimed his Lordship over the house of Black. Harry Potter, who was about to become the poster boy for the light, had been taken by the lord of a very notorious family. A Dark family.

The icing on the cake was that he didn’t even know where the man had taken Harry Potter, so even if he wanted to try and convince him to bring the child to the Dursley family, he couldn’t. It was all very stressful. Aggravating to say the least. He just hoped that he would hear word from Sirius soon. At least so he could know that they were both alright.

He cast Tempus once again.

It was 2:30 in the morning, and it was probably important that he got rest. After all, the school would be celebrating the fall of a Dark Lord tomorrow, and he knew that many people were going to end up in his office due to their means of celebration.

He sighed and made his way to his bed. Harry Potter would be fine… He hoped as much anyway.

Sirius Black was absolutely shocked when he finished bathing and went to go get his godson back from his mother.

There his godson was, asleep in the arms of his mother. More shockingly, there his mother was, laying on the sofa, asleep with Harry Potter in her arms.

Kreacher popped quietly into the room and looked at his new lord.

“Filthy Blood traitor Master mustn't bother Mistress or young Master.” It came out as a hushed hiss, the house elf glaring up at him. The man stared down at his Mother and Godson, and then over to Kreacher. There was no way he was going to win this battle, and if he did disturb the two sleeping on the sofa, Kreacher would most definitely be less cooperative.

“Cover them up, I’m heading to my old room. Wake me when Harry wakes.” Kreacher looked almost taken aback by his compliance to leave the two alone, but nodded.

Kreacher watched as the new Lord Black made his way up the stairs. He was coming to the conclusion that his Filthy Blood traitor master might not be so hard to listen to, so long as he was respectful to mistress.

Sirius hadn’t even noticed how tired he was until he collapsed onto his old bed. He passed out before he could even question why his old room was still spotless. After all, it had been six years since he set foot inside of Grimmauld place, let alone inhabited his room.

But no, the thought didn’t even have the chance to cross his mind before he was greeted by sweet dreamless sleep, his brain too exhausted to even give him a dream, too exhausted to bring a nightmare.

Luckily, Harry Potter didn’t have any nightmares either. He would have, but Walburga Black’s comforting hold had chased them away. He would have told her that, though she wouldn’t understand, but he fell asleep as soon as he was done with the food he had been brought.

Miles away, Remus Lupin had finally caught wind of what had happened at Godric's hollow, and he promptly began his journey back home. He was more panicked than he had ever been in his entire life. Including when his friends had found out about his furry little problem. He had to get back for Harry, and from what he had heard, Sirius. If what he had heard was true, then Peter had betrayed them, and he didn’t know what brash things Sirius might do with that knowledge.

* * *

 

Walburga Black felt awkward sitting across from Remus Lupin as her son took his sweet time doing Merlin knows what. It had been a week since Sirius had brought Harry to Grimmauld, and in that week, Remus Lupin had returned the Britain and now was currently in front of her, sitting quietly while looking absolutely nervous as her eyes ran over him.

Walburga had many a reason to be angry. Not necessarily because of Lupin's presence, but because of a number of things really. The main cause was probably the fact that her Niece, Bellatrix LeStrange had continued to do Voldemort’s dirty work, even after he had seemingly been defeated. She had gone and attacked the Longbottom family, which was a big mistake, and had basically orphaned their infant son.

To make matters worse, Bellatrix seemed to think that such… behaviors would have no consequence. Obviously the woman had read in the paper that her cousin had taken up his spot as Lord Black, or she would have laid low. Now, thanks to her stupidity, she was disowned from the Black family. Any money that her marriage may have given the LeStrange family was now going straight back to the Black family vault. The marriage dissolved, and Bellatrix no longer being a part of the most esteemed house of Black.

Foolish girl.

Not to mention other stressful things were happening. Arcturus had flooed over so that he could make sure Sirius was… well… Serious about his decision to take his rightful place as Lord of the family. That had been stressful all on it’s own. Then, a bunch of matriarchs that Walburga had been close enough to had decided to come pouring in with Marriage proposals and betrothal contracts between women and men in their families, all in hope of her signing on behalf of her son. Unlikely. She had no power to do so, and no will to attempt it. After all, she knew exactly how rebellious her son was, and he absolutely hated Betrothal contracts…

After all, that’s why he wasn’t married yet. He hated them, and so any contract that could potentially be for him, Walburga and Orion had destroyed. Besides, most Betrothals benefited one house slightly more than the other, and any offer they had for Sirius, well, they never really suited them. More Money? It could be useful one day, but they had enough Galleons to buy the entirety of Wizarding Britain five times over and still have enough that at least five more generations wouldn’t even have need of a job. And it was growing, as Orion had a job.

Now Remus Lupin was sitting before her, looking like he would prefer to be in the company of just about anyone else. Walburga felt the same about being in his company, though her list of people whose company she would prefer not to be in was just about as long as a list could get without it being the list of everyone who lives in Britain.

Finally, Sirius had decided to grace them with his presence, and Walburga, albeit hesitantly, handed the Potter in her lap over to her son. Over the last week she had grown somewhat… Attached to the small child. That surprised her son, but he had overcome such surprise, as he had seats on the wizengamot that he now had to use when it came to the Death Eater trials, and that meant that he was going to have to go to said trials or find a proxy; at the moment, he didn’t really trust anyone to be his proxy.

The main thing he was concerned with was something that he had solved easily. He had made his mother swear not to preach about blood purity to his Godson, nor was she allowed to talk about her ideals on Half breeds unless she had something nice to say. Not that his mother said anything really bad about Half-breeds. Their family had creature blood in it, and they would never downgrade their own family. Unlike other families in the Wizarding world, who seem to think that their shit smells better than anyone else’s.

“Remus, this is my Mother, Mother this is my Remus. Now that you’re acquainted I think we ought to rip the news off like a band-aid-” He didn’t get the chance to announce the news, as his Mother knew everything, obviously.

“You and Lupin have been dating since sixth year, yes, I know. I do keep in touch with people, and you know how much trouble your ex-Cousin was always trying to cause in the family. You act like she wouldn’t tell me that you were dating a Werewolf,” She looked at the looks of surprise and shame. Why the werewolf felt shame, she had no idea, “Oh don’t act so surprised. As if I couldn’t tell. Sirius, you know that I have at least one secret of everybody I have ever met. I dig, and then I have the advantage. Merlin.” Remus hung his head and went to stand.

“I suppose I should be leaving now. I apologize for even entering your house Madam Black.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Lupin, if I was going to kick you out I wouldn’t have even let you come inside. I don’t know what people have been telling you, but I’m not nearly as biased against magical creatures as you seem to think. If I were to find them unappealing, like most pureblood families, I would be denouncing my own blood, and that is far below the Black Family. We do not bow to the whims of others.” She was annoyed that someone had told him that she would disapprove of him simply because he was a werewolf.  

“So you don’t… Mind that I… You don’t mind?” He was shocked to the core by this revelation.

“What the bloody fuck do you think? I just told you, I have creature blood in my veins. I am no Malfoy, I will not denounce magical creature, especially considering the fact that there are quite a few in my very blood line. I mean, face it, we all know that the Malfoy family gets that unnaturally blond hair from somewhere, and the ferret like features that they all seem to have? For all I know they are part Gridylow.” Sirius couldn’t contain his laughter after that one. No, his mother rarely said things around those lines, but they were almost always about the Malfoy family, and she always hit them with scathing remarks about their looks or magic or the simple fact that they think money is equal to power.

Remus Lupin blinked once. Twice. Then he turned to stare at his boyfriend with a look that obviously meant he was about to say something that the other man was likely to disagree with.

“Your Mother seems to share the same view of the Malfoy Family as you do. I believe that I have been misled to believe that you were nothing like her, and yet, I can see the similarities are not only skin deep.” Walburga was well on her way of taking the werewolf off of her list of people who she’d prefer not to be around.

“Well, is there any other news you wished to share with me, besides the fact that you two have yet to pick a date, send out the invitations, or even really plan the wedding at all.” Sirius never did know how she knew things that he had only ever mentioned when he was alone with people that she had never even met.

He voiced as much.

“I know all of your secrets, Sirius. I am your mother, after all. Just like I know all of Regulus’ secrets. I know even the most well guarded secrets in this family. Nobody can keep anything from me for very long.” She was looking at him like he was stupid.

Remus just shook his head.

Sirius may not have seen it, but he was just like his mother. He remembered his dark haired friend saying something almost exactly along those likes just a few years ago. He had proclaimed that he was they were his very best friends and that he knew every single one of their secrets no matter how hard they tried to hide them.

Well, he had said that to him and James, Peter had been off somewhere, doing Merlin knows what.

As Remus thought about it, he could hardly believe that it took them so long to figure out he was the traitor, and even then, it was only because his betrayal had led to the death of James. He supposed that it was because they had known him for so long, had slept in the same dorm with him for so long, they had been blinded from the truth. People might have even tried to warm them, but they never heard the warnings, never saw the signs. They knew he had been slightly jealous at times, but it happened to the best of them.

Yes, Peters betrayal had hit them hard. It isn’t everyday that one of your longest and closest friends sells you out to a dark lord that wants to murder you. Or maybe it was everyday, for all they knew he had been telling Voldemort about everything that went on in their lives. The sad times, the happy times. Maybe Peter had told Voldemort everything.

Remus glanced at Walburga and Sirius Black.

He sure hoped that Peter didn’t tell the evil wizard everything. For Peters sake, that is. Because if their ratty friend had told the man everything he knew, then he was going to be taken care of. For Peter did not know just how close the apple fell to the tree when it came to Sirius and Walburga Black, and everyone who knew both sides of the pair had a healthy dose of fear for each. Walburga was ruthless, and Sirius had gained that trait.

As Sirius looked at his fiancé and his mother one of many thoughts became prominent. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out better than he had hoped.

Harry Potter stared at his Adoptive Grandmother with shining eyes. She was nice to him, and that was all that mattered to him. He didn’t have the concerns that someone older would have. Hid Padfoot let the woman hold him and nap with him, so she obviously couldn’t be bad.

He held his arms out for the woman, whose touch reminded him so much of his own Mummy, and yet, was so entirely different. The woman looked cold on the outside, but one look in her eyes was all he needed to know that she definitely cared for him.

His Padfoot looked down at him for a moment, seeing who he was reaching for. The older man sighed softly and looked over at the woman. As soon as she had noticed that Harry was reaching for her, she stood and began to walk towards her son and recently adopted grandson.

As Remus Lupin observed this, He grinned widely. Harry was obviously accepting Walburga well, and Sirius seemed to be getting along with his mother better than most would accept, even if it was only for the sake of his Godson. He watched as Harry grinned excitedly and began to tell Walburga everything he thought he ought to tell her.

“Pa’foo Mu, da Moo’ey,” The young child pointed towards Remus as he introduced his Mooney to his Padfoot’s mummy, “Moo’ey grr.” He held his hands up like claws as he made the best Growling noise he could so he could tell her that his Moony was very cool and could protect them.

“Is that your uncle Moony? He can go grrr? Whoa, that’s crazy?” Remus would have been more shocked if it hadn’t been Harry. He knew that his little cub was very charismatic, and people just couldn’t help but love him.

“Uh huh, Grr, en da ba gu gos.”

“He goes Grr and the Bad guys go away? Then it’s good we have him here to protect us, isn’t it?” Harry nodded and continued to tell Walburga about everything he could think of. He loved talking to his Padfoot’s mummy.

* * *

 

_ **Three years later~~`~** _

Harry was working hard on his coloring. His Padfoot had insisted that he go to this school, while Paddy’s mum had been insistent that they keep him home. Paddy had won the argument in the end, so there he was with a bunch of different children that Paddy had referred to as muggles.

That didn’t really matter though, as he was having a lot of fun with his coloring. He was making a picture for Paddy, Moony, and Paddy’s Mum, who insisted that he call her Grandmother. He didn’t call her Grandmother most of the time, he called her Granny ‘burga if he wasn’t calling her Paddy’s Mu-mu.

“What are you drawing, Harry?” The adults who were in charge were nice to him, so he assumed that they were good people.

“Me and my bir’day stuffs.” Harry grinned at the woman who watched as he drew knick knacks among other things. If she saw anything strange, she had chalked it up to his imagination.

“Who is it for?” Harry didn’t look up this time, concentrating on drawing himself.

“Moony, Paddy, and Paddy’s Mu-mu.” He stated it as if it were obvious, maybe it was to him. Who else would he be drawing for?

“You mean Mummy and Daddy and Daddy’s Mummy?” She was sure that was what he meant, and was giggling slightly at the silly things he had called them. He paused what he was doing to look up at her with a stubborn gleam in his eyes.

“No, Moony, Paddy, and Paddy’s Mu-mu.” His eyebrows were scrunched together as if what she had said was confusing.

“Who is Moony and Paddy?” She was trying desperately to understand what the young child had meant when he referred to the people the way he was.

“Uncle.” He had stated it like it was obvious, as if to say ‘who else would they be?’ and the teacher raised a brow at the tone he was taking. It was like he, as a small child, was trying to explain something to her like she was a small child and he was the adult. Where he had learned how to sound so condescending, she would never understand.

She left him in peace after that, allowing him to continue his coloring. He shook his head after watching her walk away. He just couldn’t understand her sometimes. Of course Paddy and Moony were his uncles. Who else could they possibly be?

At the end of the school day, for the first time ever, Paddy’s Mu-mu came to pick him up. He jumped up and rant to her. Grabbing her hand, he brought her to the woman who had been asking him silly questions earlier.

“Paddy’s Mu-mu.” He pointed to his adoptive grandmother and them motioned for the woman to introduce herself.

“Hello, I’m one of Harry’s instructors. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She stuck out her hand to the woman who was obviously upper-class.

“Hello, I’m Walburga Black.” she gingerly took the hand of the instructor. Said instructor now saw just who Harry had learned that tone from. How the woman had made her introduction sound so condescending was a mystery, but it very well matched her student’s tone from earlier.

She watched as Walburga Black left with the small child blabbering on about his day as he clung to her.

She didn’t realize that the boy had come from an obviously important family. The man that usually picked Harry up and dropped Harry off had always seemed either carefree or enthusiastic nonetheless. The woman who obviously resembled the man seemed like neither of those, and yet, she didn’t reprimand the boy for tugging her along and talking non-stop, so obviously she wasn’t nearly as highly strung as she may have seemed.

She wasn’t shocked when she looked out the window and saw the woman holding Harry’s drawing and smiling slightly, obviously praising his art work.

“Harry, I have taught you well.” Walburga snickered to the shock of Sirius and Remus as they sat in the sitting room.

“What did he do?” Sirius desperately wanted to know why his mother was so amused, and why he wasn’t part of the joke.

“Apparently he began to sound condescending when he told the instructor at his school that you and Remus were his uncles.” She held back another snicker as Harry crossed his arms.

“Who else could they be? My second great grandparents?” He had muttered the words, and yet the three adults could hear him as clear as day. None of them could hold back any longer, it was the tone he had along with the look on his face and his stature. Mixing all of those things together made for something very amusing.

 

They all three let their chuckles over come them momentarily.

“He seems to have learned from all three of us.” Remus gasped out. He had seen Sirius make the same face Harry was making, while he had heard Walburga sound exactly like Harry had. Not to mention the arm crossing. Remus could admit that that was all him. Sirius and Walburga crossed their arms plenty, but neither had ever been able to look so disappointed with someone. The pair had only managed to look angry or amused when they crossed their arms.

But no, Harry looked disappointed, slightly pouty, and sounded as if he had to explain how everything worked to the stupidest person on the planet.

Over all, nothing would be able to beat the level of amusing it was, not for a good while anyway.


	3. When your most precious family heirloom is an Urn

Walburga Black felt like she was twenty again as she returned home on the fine evening of January seventh, 1983. It was actually somewhat concerning to her son and son in law.

Sirius took one look at her and knew she had done something that was probably frowned upon.

“What did you do?” Walburga grinned like a madman at the question that she so desperately wanted to answer. Remus Lupin would later say that it was the exact same grin that Sirius got when he did something impulsive that he most definitely shouldn’t have done, and that is why it looked so familiar to him, though at the time he couldn’t place it due to the shock that came next.

“I went to Malfoy Manor…” It was already sounding like a bad idea.

“You hate Malfoy.” Sirius wasn’t wrong, she had made enough comments about the family that everyone knew she hated Malfoy.

“And I found their most precious heirloom…” Remus didn’t know if he should be amused or highly concerned for where this was going.

“And I threw it at their ugly son. Draco, I think his name is. Fitting considering he has a face that only a dragon could love.” Walburga’s grin didn’t diminish at all.

“You Did WHAT?!” Sirius’ was too busy laughing as Remus’ eyes basically bulged out of their sockets.

“The urn didn’t hit him… It hit two house elves and broke seven windows.”

“HOW DID IT EVEN DO THAT?”

“Did I forget to mention I threw it with my wand, and just so happened to keep the spell going until I had deemed that enough damage had been done.”

“Why?” Remus looked like he wanted to sob. He just had to marry into the family with no impulse control whatsoever.

“It also hit Narcissa’s husband and basically shattered, leaving him covered in the ashes of his third great aunt.”

“WHY???”

“... Why not?” Walburga’s grin still hadn’t left her face as Sirius was no on the floor, dying from the lack of oxygen he was getting from laughing so hard. 

 

It could be said the Sirius Black was not the only one in the family that had stunted impulse control. The only difference was that even Sirius had never flung somebody’s great aunt’s ashes at them. Well not yet at least. After hearing how much fun his mother had had with it, he had desperately wanted to try.

 

Remus was hoping that being surrounded by two people who lacked any impulse control wouldn’t affect Harry’s impulse control, but he knew better. From the things he had already done, he knew that Harry had absolutely no Impulse control either. Most children didn’t, But harry took his to the extreme. 

Walburga slowly let her grin drop, her face turning very straight, as if she had important news. 

 

“Little Malfoy looks a lot like his father. A lot. I feel a bit bad for Narcissa. She has to see them both daily. I’d be horrified if something that looked like that came out of my womb.” That just sent Sirius into another spiral of laughter, and Remus couldn’t help but to join in on that one. After all, any woman should be horrified if whatever comes out of their womb takes the appearance of a miniature Lucius Malfoy.

* * *

 

In the Wizarding world, it could be said that while Witches had plenty control over matters, they tended to have to fight for it more than men.    
  
That being said, if the Witch you were about to insult belonged to one of few families, you ought to re-evaluate your life choices. Or you may just lose your life based on said choices.    
  
Walburga Black was a woman that was best left unscorned. The same could be said about Amelia Bones and Callidora Zabini. The three women were some of the most feared women in the British Wizarding world, and a few other countries too. If you were to mutter Callidora’s name in the presence of the Greek Minister of Magic, you would see him pale drastically. If you even thought Walburga’s name in the presence of the Bulgarian minister, or the French Minister, you would find that they were willing to do anything if it meant she wasn’t going to be anywhere near them.    
  
Amelia Bones had all of the ministry quaking in fear when she was angered, and the American ministry would close off the ability for any foreign wizard to enter their country if she was looking for someone that could end up in their country. Or they specifically got a trace on the person’s magical signature and they were prepared to hand in whoever it was for free. Lest they be accused of aiding a criminal that Amelia Bones was scouring for.    
  
But Amelia wasn’t the topic at the moment. No. It seemed that Dumbledore was dredging up the past in hope of getting Harry put of the Black Family’s iron grip. It had taken him four years to start, and he had probably been in search of proper evidence. At least, it should have been some proper fucking evidence if he was just now complaining after four fucking years.   
  
By doing what he had done, he had managed to scorn the three most powerful, and dangerous, women in Magical Britain at the moment. Callidora may have been only been in Britain for the time being, but she was in Britain nonetheless.    
  
You see, Albus Dumbledore was trying to attest Sirius Black’s claim of guardianship due to familial relations. Not to the Death Eaters, oh no, but another branch of the Black Family that was absolutely… Insane, and very delved in Black Magic.    
  
The issue was, Callidora Zabini was also related to the branch in question, and she took great offence with their name being slurred, even if the family themselves grinned at the accusations and whole heartedly took them as compliments. They even publicly said that they would definitely show up at Dumbledore’s funeral… It is within the realm of possibilities that that made people jump to the thought of that being a death threat.    
  
Amelia Bones was angry because Sirius Black and Harry Potter were definitely related somewhere along the line, and she was related to the Black family, and therefore also related to the branch of the Black magic family, but that also meant that Dumbledore was most likely related to them along the line.    
  
Dumbledore had caused a stir with such accusations, and every Pureblood, Halfblood, and and Half Breed was pulling out their family trees to check to see if they were connected to the family.    
  
Dumbledore was asked to come back for a meeting the week after he made his accusations. When he came back the next week, he sat in a chamber with fifteen families, a very diverse bunch that included Purebloods and Halfbloods and even Half Breeds; all of these families were… angry. There were more families that wanted to come at him with their words, but they were asked to please refrain from appearing, as fifteen families were already crammed into a single chamber along with other people.    
  
“Do you mean to say that the majority of Wizarding Britain would be incapable of looking after a nearly six year old boy because of their blood? Because that is sounding a lot like what Voldemort was preaching. You know, denying people their legal rights because of their blood.” After Amelia hissed that, Dumbledore had turned ashen.    
  
“Well, I’m concerned because they are so closely related to the family and I fear that you Harry will be negatively affected by Walb-” He coughed slightly as Walburga Black glared at him with the eyes of a dragon, “Members of their family.” He corrected himself, but they all still caught the mistake.    
  
“And who would you see him with? Your plan with placing him with those muggles to keep him out of the lime light would be a complete and utter fail now considering he already knows.” Callidora’s words were sharp, if they had been an object, the object would have the ability to decapitate multiple people without having to be resharpened.    
  
“The Weasley family would be willing to take him in.” Dumbledore knew something was wrong when he saw Callidora, Walburga, and Amelia smirk widely. The silence he was met with was interupted by a few documents being shuffled around until finally, the one that Amelia had seemed to need was in front of him.    
  
“The Weasley family is just as closely, if not more so, related to the very people you are trying to use as a reason for contesting the Guardianship that the Black family has over Young Mr. Potter.” Why didn’t Molly tell him? Why did nobody let him in on this little fact. How could this have happened to his well placed plan?    
  
But the Parchment was obviously the work of the Goblins. It seemed that the branch of the Black family that he had tried to discredit had gotten their blood tested to prove their relations with the majority of Wizarding Britain, and, as it seemed, that it proved that their second great grandmother was the Molly Weasley’s third great grandmother.    
  
“Not to mention that Molly Weasley is Sirius Black’s first cousin by marriage. Lucretia Prewett nee Black is my sister in law, she married Ignatius Prewett some time ago. Ignatius is Molly’s Uncle. Therefore she is just about as closely related to the Branch family as Sirius is.” Walburga’s smug look didn’t get past Dumbledore.    
  
Dumbledore now saw why the Black family had kept such good track of their family tree. When it came to matters of blood relations, they knew exactly who was related to the,=m, where the line crossed, and how to beat anyone who tried to take what was rightfully theirs, even if it was guardianship.   
  
“Besides, Albus, you cannot contest the Wills of James and Lily Potter. You had the power to close them, but you didn’t. Not to mention the legal documentation stating that I am Godfather of Harry Potter, and that right can only be taken if I am convicted of a crime.”Sirius Black had been sitting and patiently waiting for his turn.   
  
“You can still be charged with attempt at murder.” A few gasps rang out and Walburga’s head swiveled in the direction of her son, who remained calm and collected. As if he knew something that they didn’t, even after Dumbledore had said that. He better know his way out. Otherwise she would murder him herself. He should have known that if you are going to do something, either don’t get caught, or do the time.    
  
“Snape accused Remus of being a Werewolf, kept asking about it. Kept trying to follow Remus out of the castle. He wanted to know what was going on. So he followed us. James Potter saved his fucking life. It isn’t my fault that he decided to follow a Werewolf out of the school on a full moon, and it sure as hell isn’t Remus’ fault that Snape tried to get so close to a transforming Werewolf.”    
  
“You did the same Mr. Lupin-Black, except you have a secret don’t you. Because what makes Humans immune to Werewolf bites taking affect? Being an Animagus of course. An unregistered one.” Sirius Smirked widely as Walburga finally saw what her son had in mind.   
  
“Who said I was unregistered? James was, Peter was, but I still lived with my parents at the time. You think they didn’t notice that I could turn into a huge Grim? They knew as soon as I stepped into the house. The wards let them know. They took me to register that day. Obviously I couldn’t register during the school year. The registration office understood, and congratulated me on such a great feat at the age of fifteen.” It was all true. Walburga remembered that day like it was only yesterday.    
  
She had been proud of her son immensely when she and Orion had realized that the wards stated their son as the Animagus that had entered their house.    
  
By now, Dumbledore had realized that he had definitely lost. He sighed lowly and turned towards everyone.    
  
“I do apologize for all the trouble I have caused. I was trying to do what was best over all, I guess I forgot that Young Mr. Potter has been around Mr. Black his entire life as of yet.” He bowed his head slightly, showing that he was finally dropping the entire thing.    
  
And he was. He actually was. He was going to drop the entire thing, because if Sirius Black was willing to not explode and yell about how Severus deserved the attempt at his life, but calmly state what happened, then he had changed for his Godson.    
  
Maybe it was better that Harry lived with Sirius, Remus, and Walburga. He regretted that he didn’t get to attend Sirius’ and Remus’ wedding. He had heard that it went from really nice and beautiful to... Well, exactly what kind of parties Sirius Black went to right after the vows... 

He had missed the Rager of the century.

* * *

  
  
  
Harry Potter-Lupin-Black was wreaking havoc. He had made friends with Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, and, surprisingly, Daphne Greengrass. Daphne, who he fondly called the Ice princess, served as a slight distraction.    
  
“Did you know that Harry is setting fire to Ron in the Garden while Luna chants in Romanian?” Her face was as straight as anyone had ever seen. She sounded bored, and slightly curious. Exactly what they expected her to sound like, even when delivering such worrying news.    
  
Of course Sirius raised an eyebrow, and Remus mildly panicked. Sirius had been raised around Daphne’s father, he knew that the tone didn’t always tell the truth.   
  
You see, she was actually lying as as distraction. It was Luna who was really setting anything on fire. In fact, if either of the adults had looked over at Walburga, then they would have seen that she was silently cackling. She could wordlessly cast the counter to the silencing charm, so she cast the silencing charm on herself so she wouldn’t give anything away.    
  
Remus was too busy running around panicking and trying to find where Ron was, because he most certainly wasn’t in the garden, so he could put him out of fire and stop Luna’s chanting. Sirius was caught in a staring contest with Daphne, who refused to tell him if she was lying or not.    
  
Harry, Ron, and Luna were dancing around the flaming boy of watermelon, chanting in Romanian about exploding watermelons, and over all, flaming watermelon worship. Had any other adult besides Walburga known about what was happening, so long as that adult was not Sirius, it may have been mildly concerning that they were doing so. But no, Remus currently thought that Ron Weasley was on fire and Sirius was wholly unconcerned and completely absorbed in his staring contest.    
  
And yet, this was a normal Thursday in Grimmauld Place. Well, in number 12 Grimmauld Place, that is.    
  
Remus Lupin-Black would tell you that nothing good ever happened on Thursdays in their home. Sirius Lupin-Black would attest to that, as he felt the best things always happened on Thursdays in their home. Walburga would tell you that the best form of amusement always happened on a Thursday. Harry Potter-Lupin-Black would tell you that he was always having the most fun on Thursdays, as it was the one day he always had to outdo himself. Every week it would get bigger and bigger.    
  
How it escalated to them dancing around flaming watermelons was just a part of the system. The Pattern. Next week would be even worse for Remus, but definitely better for everyone else.    
  
As you can imagine, Remus Lupin was definitely feeling that Thursdays should be cancelled in their home. If they all slept through the day, then nothing as extreme as setting Ron Weasley on fire would be able to happen.    
  
He wasn’t nearly as relieved as he should have been when he found out that they had not, in fact, set Ron on fire. He wasn’t as relieved as he should have been because they had somehow created dancing, Flaming Watermelons. He would have been proud, or perhaps impressed, if it weren’t for the fact that three Eight year old children and one seven year old had created something so horrifying and so fucking hard to catch.    
  
Remus finally caught one and stomped on it, much to the dismay of the children.    
  
“Well Bloody Fucking Hell, I’m bitchin glad that I wasn’t the one on fire. Merlin’s saggy left nut, Lupin. Had that been me I’d be Bloody fucking dead!”    
  
Ron’s language wasn’t as clean as Molly Weasley would have liked, but there was nothing she could do about it; it was quite expected, as he was the sixth son. When your children had that many elder siblings, it was damn near impossible to keep them from using such language. Especially when you sometimes slipped and cursed out the entire family. After all, having seven children was quite stressful.     
  
Remus felt slightly bad for Hogwarts. The foursome was only getting worse as the years went by. Luna was absolutely insane, but quite a genius and very observant, Ron was very good at tactics, Harry was very good at causing things to happen and playing innocent to the point where Remus almost believed him even when he watched him do it, and Daphne was great at causing distractions and helping set up wonderful schemes while providing alibis.    
  
They were a terror, and even when they would be split from one of their own for a year, that would by no means stop them from including her in all of their plans.    
  
Yes, he felt bad for Hogwarts. The only good part was going to be getting letters ranting about Mini Malfoy. Yes, that seemed to be an inherent trait carried through any child Walburga had any influence over. Rants about Malfoy’s hair, or Malfoy’s face, or Malfoy in general were common, and they always had a little spice to them.    
  
Like when Walburga broke seven windows, hurt two house elves, and covered Lucius Malfoy with his second great aunts ashes when she decided to throw the urn at the hideous baby, in which case she missed the Baby, so all was okay.


	4. Who would have guessed that Harry would do it too?

Harry Potter-Lupin-Black was eleven, and it was bloody terrifying. It was a nightmare for anyone who was currently employed at Hogwarts, because, obviously, he was about to go to Hogwarts, and that was going to be terrifying. Harry Potter, raised by some of the most terrifying people in all of the wizarding world… Was going to be in a school…. With a malfoy… and many other people that could potentially get on his nerves. But the real part that caught everyone was the Malfoy. They all knew about Walburga Black's unyielding hate for everything Malfoy, and she had helped raise him, which could only mean that he could possible be carrying this hate. 

* * *

 

Minerva McGonagall shuttered slightly at the thought. She had been in school with both Walburga Black and Abraxas Malfoy... as one can imagine, it was not very pretty. Walburga had Abraxas looking over his shoulder ever two seconds for years. He was terrified that she might actually kill him because of him being a Malfoy. She had an ever growing hate of the Malfoy hair, and of course the Malfoy name, and who could forget that she abhorred the Malfoy everything. 

If someone held that much hate for everything that you just so happened to be, well, you'd be quivering at the thought of them catching sight of you too. 

Minerva sighed loudly. She would have to prepare herself to keep Harry Potter-Lupin-Black away from Draco Malfoy at all costs. They could not afford for a Walburga Black type of accident, and from Remus Lupin had told her, that was the young boys favorite type of accident. 

What happened right before her very eyes as the first years were being sorted had almost forced her to resign. There was a point... a point that should not be reached if they wanted her to stay put as a professor. Who would have guessed that the Harry James Potter-Lupin-Black would get the very specific thing that only the Black family and Potter Family had?

Why did he have to Pull a James Potter? And she didn't mean a prank. She meant the thing that really made James Potter himself. What everyone truly remembers about James Potter specifically. 

There was still confusion on how his tactics had actually pulled off what he wanted. How did it work? How did James Potter do the impossible after Six and a quarter years of no. 

There was a small hope that maybe the same tactics would not work out for Harry Potter-Lupin-Black. There was small hope that maybe this was just a joke. 

Deep down everyone knew it wasn't.

* * *

 

Harry Potter Lupin Black was sitting in his compartment, when an easily recognizable shade of blond hair entered his space. So this was the boy that was related to the man that his Grandmother abhorred so much. Harry got a good look of him And immediately decided that this boy was his now. It wasn’t the hair that had him decide this, as it truly was a horrible shade of blond. No, it was because the boy would have been so beautiful if he had not inherited his father’s hair.

Harry was sure he could get his grandmother to accept the boy… After they got rid of the horrid hair, that was.

He turned to Daphne with a look that said everything. She quickly locked the compartment before Draco could leave. Harry proceeded to throw himself at Draco, a tackle unlike any other. As soon as they hit the floor Draco was trapped in an unbreakable hug.

“You’re going to come home with me and meet my family. You are so cute, if not for that hair Granny Black would love you.” Harry’s was smiling widely and he sounded genuinely excited. Draco, on the other hand, was taking quite a few seconds to process what exactly was going on.

“What the bloody hell-”

“Heavens, Malfoy, you’d think you’d be more quiet considering Ron is asleep and he gets violent when one wakes him up. Not to mention Harry is falling asleep on you and he is also quite violent when he wakes up.” Daphne’s bored eyes bore into his soul. “Yes, Harry Potter-Lupin-Black is hugging you, yes Ron Weasley is in this compartment, no you may not leave as it seems Harry has claimed you as his. No I will not help. Now that that is over with, do be quiet and just adjust, because I have a feeling that this is going to be the new usual in your life." Daphne's expression gave nothing away, and Draco's panic started to change to acceptance that maybe he would be trapped forever. 

His father had warned him that this would happen. Well, actually, he said avoid flying things... It just so happened that Harry Potter-Lupin-Black had momentarily been flying, and he didn't realize that he should be avoiding flying  _people_. It was truly an honest mistake, and now he was stuck with the consequences. There was nothing to do about the warm wizard who refused to release his hold on him. 

In fact, he was only released when Daphne flicked all three of them in the face to wake them to get dressed, as they were almost to Hogwarts. When he had fallen asleep would remain a mystery to all except Daphne. 

"Apologies, I never did properly introduce myself. I'm Harry Potter-Lupin-Black, and we are probably going to get married in seven years!" It was said in such an enthusiastic way, Draco forgot how he should respond. He just stared at the boy before him... The boy who was supposed to hate his very existence, just like the rest of his family. 

It was obvious that the boy did not hate him nearly as much as he should. Or nearly as much as would be plausible. Or nearly at all. Was there even a single wisp of hate? Perhaps only towards his hair. 

Harry had pulled out a comb with a gleam in his eye that promised change. A change that was perhaps not going to be welcomed by Lucius Malfoy, but at this point Draco knew that he was trapped, and the easiest way to get through this would be to just let the boy before him. After all, he was outnumbered three to one, with Daphne 'Fuck with me I dare you' Greengrass, Ron 'Short fuse' Weasley, and Harry 'I have wrapped the most powerful around my finger' Potter-Lupin-Black opposing him. He wasn't ready to die, and that was a likely scenario if he tried to oppose them. 

* * *

 

When the first years entered the hall, all eyes focused on Harry Potter-Lupin-Black and the three people around him. Daphne had her blank look, giving away nothing at all. Ron had an angry look on his face, as he had been forced to wake up, eyes were leaving him as fast as they had landed on him. Then, the eyes had landed on the last two. Harry Potter-Lupin-Black had Draco Malfoy's arm firmly placed in his own. The two seemed to be getting along, which was a shock all on it's own, But the real shock was finding out that the person next to Harry was in fact Draco Malfoy. 

He didn't have the Malfoy family hair. He most certainly did not have the Malfoy family hair. It wasn't blond. Not at all. It was black, and he looked more like he belonged in the Black family than anyone else in the entire school, bar perhaps Harry himself.

Minerva McGonagall didn't even realize that he was Draco Malfoy until she called his name and the boy was reluctantly released from Harry's grasp. When she realized that Harry had actually changed the boy's hair from Malfoy family Blonde to Black family Black... She was ready to quit. What kind of game was Fate playing? What kind of higher power was trying to destroy the world? 

Walburga Black's grandson had somehow developed an attachment to Draco Malfoy. He had somehow developed an attachment to a Malfoy. Minerva looked around, trying to see if this was a prank of some kind, but she didn't think it was. She looked around once more, tying to be sure that Walburga wasn't about to come flying through the doors, or blasting through walls. They really didn't need her and Harry at the school at the same time. 

Why had this happened? She thought Remus had said that Thursdays were going to be the bad days. 

She paled drastically... Did that mean that Thursdays would be  _worse_? She began to feel faint. If this was one of the normal days... How would the school survive having this boy, no, this group within it's walls. It had already become apparent that they were going to burn sown the school... and the group wasn't even complete. 

She watched as the Malfoy boy became a hat stall. All expectations of him going into Slytherin for all the wrong reasons were shredded. The only real hope was that the group of children were not in the same house. Merlin forbid they all go into her house. It wasn't that she hated them already... no if she was going to end up hating them, it would take time and effort on their part. She never hated children that went to the school unless they were actually causing harm to the other students. It was just that she knew that house points would be taken a majority of the time, and she also did not want to be responsible for them. 

The reason she wanted them separated so badly was not to ruin their friendship, but to minimize the chaos, and no head of house should have to deal with all of them at the same time. It was already obvious that they would be much worse than the Marauders. 

* * *

Draco Malfoy was sitting on the stool for the better part of ten minutes, and he was getting impatient. 

"Just put me in Hufflepuff, I just know that Harry will be going to Slytherin and I do not want to be murdered by Walburga Black."

" _ **No, It is up to me to figure out where you belong, and I will put you there. Whether Harry Potter-Lupin-Black goes into Slytherin or not, you are going to SLYTHERIN!"**_ Draco Malfoy drug himself off the stool as the hat was lifted from his head. Daphne Greengrass' eyes rested on him as he made his way to the very same table she was sitting at. 

Her face was blank, but those who knew her well knew that she was mildly amused at what was so obviously happening. 

"He won't be in Slytherin. He says there is no fun when people expect you to be plotting something." Draco nearly sighed in relief at that. He made sure not to, and watched the rest of the sorting. He wouldn't really be at ease until he saw Harry sorted somewhere else. Anywhere else, really. It really wasn't Harry himself, sure he was a bit mad, but Draco could get used to it, and maybe even enjoy it. No, it was because it was a well known fact that Walburga Loved her Grandson even more than she hated the Malfoys, and a Malfoy getting anywhere near her Grandson was a likely thing to push her over the edge. 

"Potter-Lupin-Black, Harry." Finally Harry was called up, it was time to see if Daphne had been correct, or if Draco was going to die at the hands of Walburga Black. It took seven minutes for the hat to call out the House, but for Draco, it seemed as if it had taken seven years. 

* * *

 

"I honestly don't know what you mean. I fit perfectly into Hufflepuff. As if I could fit into anywhere else, you're mad." The hat was getting more and more frustrated with him, as the boy was even worse than Draco Malfoy had been. He just wouldn't shut up. 

" ** _I cannot put you in Hufflepuff so you can take advantage of the stereotype. You obviously belong in Slytherin._** "

"If you put me in Slytherin I will destroy the entire castle, and then feed you to the Basilisk. Don't fuck with me, Hat. I'm going into Hufflepuff and that's final. Don't even try with Gryffindor for me either, or I'll move the entire castle to the bottom of the Black Lake, and then feed you to the Basilisk. In fact, if you put me anywhere besides Hufflepuff, The castle is going to be ruined in some way, and you will be fed to the Basilisk." 

" _ **I hope you choke on a snitch, HUFFLEPUFF!"**_

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Harry Hopped happily off of the stool as McGonagall hid her shock. She pulled the hat off of the boys head and calmly watched as he went to Hufflepuff. She had a feeling that chaos was unavoidable. It had already begun and they weren't even through with the sorting yet. 

Draco Malfoy on the other hand let that relieved sigh out at this point. Daphne raised an eyebrow at him. 

"Do you really think that him being in another house is going to stop him? If you do, then you severely underestimate his will power. He'll be over here for Breakfast." Draco wanted to curl up in a ball and become invisible. Walburga Black... His great aunt Walburga. She was going to murder him in the most chaotic way possible and there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing anyone could do about it. He was going to die, and he didn't even have the Malfoy hair that was a key holder of hatred for many people... 

Well, he wasn't actually that upset about the last bit. He liked his hair being Black. It suited him better. But that was besides the point, as he was going to die by the end of the year anyways, so he wouldn't even get to live with his new hair for that long. 

What he didn't know was that Harry was going to be writing to his dear Grandmother, telling her all about the train ride. 

Had he known that he would be even more upset, and assume that he wouldn't survive the week. Which would, of course, be such a shame, as his hair really did suit him now that it wasn't Blond, and was styled properly. 

* * *

 

Severus Snape was happy to not get the Potter-Lupin-Black boy. He was ecstatic. It was more than he expected because had the boy been raised by anyone that Dumbledore had wanted him raised by, he would be just like James Potter. But the boy was raised by Walburga Black, who had raised a person that Severus hated and a person that Severus was best friends with. 

And yet, the boy didn't enter Gryffindor or Slytherin. He went to Hufflepuff, which absolutely could not be correct. Severus knew about some of the chaos that the boy caused. He knew the boy was cunning, and that he should most definitely be in Slytherin. The real question was what he had threatened the Sorting hat with tho be put in Hufflepuff. 

Severus Snape looked like bloody murder when Ronald Weasley was sorted in his house. He knew that with the presence of the Red haired boy, Draco Malfoy, and Daphne Greengrass he would also be joined by Potter-Lupin-Black everyday. It was easy to guess that they boy would end up in his common room, and at the table, and generally everywhere his three people happened to be. 

Just when he thought he wouldn't have to deal with the boy nearly as much as Pomona, he had been proved dreadfully wrong. He knew that he would not be able to escape from the boy's grasp. 

He would not be able to escape the chaos. 

Merlin help him, he just might not survive the school year, and he wasn't even the defense professor. He found that absolutely frustrating. He wanted to be the Defense Professor if he was going to end up not surviving. 

Though, being known as the single Potions Professor that didn't survive the school year would probably be better than being known as one of the many many Defense Professors that didn't survive the school year. 

His mind began to wonder to how traumatizing his first year had been... That had been one of the years that the Defense Professor had died, and it was his class that had witnessed it.

Nobody in his year had ever been quite right in the head after that.  

* * *

 

That night Harry began to write the letter he would send his Grandmother in the morning. 

**_Dear Grandmother,_**

**_I have met Draco Malfoy and I am happy to report that he no longer looks like a Malfoy._ **

**_It's a wonder what changing one's hair color and style does for that person._ **

**_After we got all that gel out, I realized that he had curly hair, just like most of the rest_ **

**_of the family. He is quite wonderful looking now that his hair is black._ **

**_Grandma, he is absolutely wonderful._ **

**_I want to marry him after seventh year, but he says it won't be likely to happen._ **

**_I believe I can change his mind, though. It might take some work, but I will do it._ **

**_Oh, I made it into Hufflepuff, just like I wanted. Though I do believe that some people_ **

**_will still know I'm plotting._ **

**_With love,_ **

**_your grandson,_ **

**_Harry Potter-Lupin-Black_ **

 

He smiled widely. Draco may have thought that Granny Walburga was going to murder him, but she wouldn't. She cared far too much about his happiness to kill the person he had a crush on. If there was one thing that Walburga thought was important, it was family. She had learned that a while ago, and while she may have always seemed cold, she would never hurt those who she cared about. 

Many people who accused her of hurting her children had found that out the hard way. 

 

 


	5. Walburga's favorite person in the entirety of the university

Walburga was sulking all morning. Yet, she knew there was nothing she could do about it. Her insanely adorable grandson had sent her a letter telling her all about a ... a Malfoy. Of course it had to be a Malfoy of all people. Of-Fucking-course. It seemed that every single child she raised had to rebel against her in some kind of way... 

And yet, Harry was her favorite. Her absolute bloody favorite. And if he said that the boy would look nothing like a Malfoy, then how could she possibly say no? 

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! I NEED THE FIRE WHISKEY!" She would have called for Kreacher, but Sirius had stashed the alcohol somewhere and the elf had trouble finding it for some reason. 

"No chance IN HELL, YOU'VE NEVER MET YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK!" Sirius had seen his mother drunk, and it always ended with something unexplained happening to the Malfoy family. 

"IT'S NOT MY BLOODY FAULT THAT YOUR SON HAS DECIDED THAT HE'S GOING TO MARRY LUCIUS MALFOY'S SON IN SEVEN YEARS. SO GET ME THE BLOODY FUCKING FIRE WHISKEY OR SO HELP ME MERLIN I WILL BURN DOWN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE HOUSE!" Her eye was twitching are her hand was grasping her wand roughly. She was ready to burn the house down if her son dared to contest her over it. 

Her son dove into the room clutching a bottle of fire whiskey in his hand. As he shoved the bottle into her hand, he snatched up the letter that Harry had sent, just to confirm that he had heard his mother correctly. 

He had. Dear Merlin he had heard her correctly. Harry had... Harry had... A Malfoy of all people. Merlin's bloody fucking saggy right testicle. 

"He... Dear Merlin give me that," He snatched the already half drunk bottle out of his Mother's hand, "Sadly it seems that whatever happened between James and Lily is obviously genetic."

"It happened between you and Remus too, dear. Obviously it's genetic through the Black family." Walburga snatched the bottle back. She needed it more than he did. 

"REMUS HARRY IS PLANNING ON MARRYING MALFOY!" Remus basically slid into the room from running so quickly. He took the fire whiskey and drowned the rest of it. He knew that this would happen. He knew in the back of his mind that it would happen. Chaos followed Harry like the plague. 

* * *

It was the next day that Harry received a letter that had obviously been written by three very drunk guardians. However, it bore very good news. The best news he had ever gotten. 

He plopped down into Draco's lap, which Draco had become accustom to over the last two days. Harry would just walk over, and just plop into his lap. And other times Harry would straight up just drag Draco into his lap. 

"Draco, good news. They have written in response to my letter telling them all about their opinions. Read it, Read it Draco, It's absolutely wonderful." Harry's grin was actually pretty damn terrifying. All of the first year Slytherins that were not his friends had flinched simultaneously, as the smile was surely a sign of something going wrong. Something absolutely disastrous. 

 

**_Dear My favorite person in the universe,_ **

**_Hello dear Harry, T'is I, you're Granny Walburga. I write bearing wonderful news._ **

**_I have decided, and I swear on all fire whiskey that I am not lying,  that we accept your choice._ **

**_Yes, I know-_ **

 

 **_Harry I love you so much, you dyed his hair? and you promise he isn't like his dad? ~_ ** **_Dog-father_ **

_**ignore that buffoon, I will let you marry this boy, but only because I love you.** _

 

_**-HARRY DON'T YOU DARE GO ANYWHERE ON THURSDAY, DON'T YOU DARE, NO. JUST DON'T. JUST SLEEP.** _

**_Oh and tell the Malfoy boy that I am so sorry that he is going to have to Marry you. That poor boy I feel so bad for you Malfoy,_ **

**_I have to put up with them all, and I for one am in the same boat as you, if you ever need to vent about him,_ **

**_just write me. And when Thursday comes, please drug him with dreamless sleep. It's the only way to stop him. and even that_ **

**_doesn't work sometimes. But it's worth a try._ **

**_Love all of your guardians,_ **

_**Wally Balusa, Dog-Father, and Mooney *DONT YOU DARE DO ANYTHING ON THURSDAY*** _

 

 

Draco had paled drastically. Walburga had accepted that Harry was going to marry him... Walburga wasn't going to kill him... Oh dear Merlin was this his life now? 

"Isn't this great news? Granny accepts you, Sirius will love you, and Remus has decided that he will let you confide in him! They may have all been drunk when they wrote this, but they've accepted you! My Grandmother will never try to throw an urn at your head ever again!" Harry's enthusiasm did nothing to cover up the words he had said. Ron Weasley laughed as Daphne's eyes twinkled with amusement. Draco tried to beat his head against the table and everyone else around them nearly went into shock. They had thought that that was just a rumor. 

"Are you sure it's not Thursday?" McGonagall asked without turning away from the situation. Snape, who was right next to her, wanted to look away, but couldn't. The boy had all of his Slytherins flinching and paling and over all shying away from him. He wanted to cry out of frustration. What had Walburga done with the child to make him... like this? What had all three of the boy's guardians done? They had created a group of little monsters that surpassed the Marauders by far. 

"It's only Tuesday, and if this chaos keeps up, I'm going on vacation every single Thursday for the rest of the time that the boy is here." Snape was absolutely serious, and Minerva McGonagall was right behind him on that. If the occurrences of the last two days were normal then they were all damned for the next seven years. 

In fact, somehow the boy had angered the sorting hat so much that it had gone on a rant once it was back in Dumbledore's office. It had screamed about how the little monster most certainly was going to cause chaos. There was nothing else it really could say, as everything it saw in his brain had to be kept a secret. 

* * *

"HARRY DON'T!" But of course he had continued to take his mattress and slide down the moving stair case. Of course he didn't stop, and of course that caused him to hit the group of students who were waiting to get on the stairs he was riding down. Daphne was used to things like this, and Ron was encouraging Harry to do it, and somehow, Draco had been roped into being on the Mattress. That meant that Harry had grabbed him and then pushed off. 

Hence why Draco had screamed for him to not do what he was about to do. 

They were going to die, Draco was absolutely sure of it. The stairs were going to move and they were going to go falling to the ground. The Mattress would do nothing to break their fall, if anything, it would aid in their deaths, as it would probably land on top of them. 

"We're gonna die, Gonna die, oh my god we're gonna die. Dead. They'll have to scrape us off of the floor." Draco wasn't going to stop anytime soon, so Harry just decided to interrupt him. 

"Relax, Darling, nothings going to happen to us. Honestly, if you're so stressed out about it, just close your eyes and enjoy the breeze." That didn't do much to ease Draco's nerves, if anything, it made them worse.

"Relax? RELAX? HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN WE COULD GO OFF OF THESE STAIRS AT ANY MOMENT AND DIE? HOW COULD ANYONE BE CALM IN THIS SITUATION?" Draco's eye twitched as all of Hogwarts heard his screams, "Ah yes, I forgot, you're loony. That's it. Absolutely mad, and you expect me to be just the same. WELL, I'M NOT. I'M SANE." Funnily enough, Draco had ceased his screaming when he realized that they were calmly at the end of the stair slide, and had glided onto the floor. 

He looked up at all of the chaos that their trip down the stairs had caused and shuddered. 

"Holy Morgana's saggy left tit, we're going to be expelled." His tone was what any one person would call astonished, and it wasn't because they had a fun ride down, or that it was a good idea after all. It was because they were going to be the first people in the History of Hogwarts to be expelled before they finished their first week of school. 

"You really must calm yourself, Dear, we won't be expelled. Nobody died, and really, that's what it takes to be expelled from this lovely establishment. 

Those were the last words either of them could get out before Madame Pomfrey came storming through the school like a nesting dragon. Dozens of children had been injured from Harry's chaos. Yet, somehow, both of the children that were riding the mattress down the stairs remained uninjured in any way. 

"I didn't want anything to do with this mess. I promise. I told him it was a bad idea and that he shouldn't do it. He didn't listen, and then, right as he was in the middle of not listening to me, he decided that I was going to come along for the ride, and drug me onto the Mattress right as he started to slide. I have never been so scared for my life. You must believe me when I say that I honestly thought that that was how I was going to die." Draco was now ranting at Madam Pomfrey, telling her about how traumatized he would surely be from the whole ordeal. 

"Really Draco, I told you nothing would happen to us, and look at us, we remain uninjured." Harry Potter-Lupin-Black's smiles were proving to always cause an uneasy feeling in everyone's stomachs. They could really only mean one thing. He was either going to do something, or he had already done it. Either way, it was enough to make ones skin absolutely crawl.

"I... I think I need to write a letter to my parents. I'm sure they are quite worried, as I haven't found time to write to them yet. Please, do excuse me." Draco rushed off, trying to get as far away from the chaos as possible. He had made it away just in time for Snape and Sprout to start to speak to Harry.

"You... You're going to be in detention for the rest of your natural born life. You will leave this school, and you will spend your days working and your nights scrubbing cauldrons in my office." Snape's drawl was anything but calm, and yet, he hadn't started yelling yet. It was almost as if he were in shock that the boy had done  _this._

"I'm disappointed in you, Mr. Potter-Lupin-Black. You could have killed one of your classmates." Was it bad that Harry had looked more sorry when Professor Sprout had said that than when Snape had set detentions for the rest of his life? Surely someone thought so, but for Harry, he wasn't nearly sorry enough to care. Nobody died, so he really didn't see what the big deal was. After all, it was Thursday, and they really should have expected this. 

* * *

 

_**Dear Mum and Dad,** _

_**I'm slightly scared. Harry Potter-Lupin-Black has decided that he is going to marry me.** _

_**I was happy to be sorted in a different house than him, and yet, he still finds it in him to spend most of** _

_**his time right next to me, dragging me aling on some crazy plot to get us killed.** _

 

_**I fear that I will never escape. I fear that one day I may not want to, but today is a day that I do.** _

_**You see, he pushed us down the moving stairs on a mattress. We were surely going to die, and yet** _

_**somehow we avoided all injury. That's more than at least three dozen other people can say.** _

 

_**Though, I have befriended Harry's other people. Daphne Greengrass is good at giving advice. I should** _

_**have listened when she said to not stand where I was. Alas, I thought I had stepped far enough back.** _

_**Ron Weasley is not nearly as bad as you described his family. He has crude language, but really,** _

_**who wouldn't when they've had to put up with Harry for their whole lives.** _

 

_**Walburga Black has also approved of Harry's choices, and Harry had dyed my hair.** _

 

**_Though_ ** _**I do rather like my hair, I just cannot believe that my life has turned out this way.** _

_**I just don't know what to do. It seems that there will never be another calm part of my life ever again.** _

__

_**Love your son,** _

_**Draco** _

Lucius Malfoy was sobbing when he read the letter his son had sent. How could this be happening? Walburga's hell spawn of a Grandson was trying to steal his only heir. His own son was being stolen from him by Walburga's grandson. 

Narcissa stared at her sobbing husband as he curled up into a ball whispering 'why me' over and over. 

"It's simple, dear. Harry has obviously gotten the Black Family genes to the point where he has decided he was going to marry our son upon sight. James Potter did the same, Sirius did the same... Hell, even I did the same with you. It just happens. That, and Walburga has favored her grandson in many ways, and if her grandson likes Draco, then she will accept Draco. 

"Anyways, I have always wondered what he would look like with my hair. I'm sure it suites him. Now if only you would do the same. Though I don't think it will fit you quite as well. Oh do stop sobbing, there is nothing that will be able to change the events of this. All we can do is invite Harry to spend a day here, and get to know him. He seems every bit as chaotic as Walburga, but I'm sure he will try his best to impress us." Narcissa was used to the Potter-Lupin-Black boy's behavior. It was the type of behavior that frolicked through the Black family. 

Of course, it was only a matter of time before Lucius would actually have to live with one of the crazier people being closely related to him... obviously they weren't counting Bellatrix. 

"But first, we're going to have to delve into my families library and remove that dreaded mark on your arm. No weakness shall be allowed in this family now that Draco will be marrying that boy. It's unbecoming of our family to bow to someone that half of my family can outmatch on a bad day." Lucius stared at his wife for a moment before giving in... He knew that Draco was right. One day, he wouldn't mind being chosen by Harry Potter-Lupin-Black. 

He just really didn't want to be even more closely related to the Woman who had hit him with their most precious family heirloom. It took him weeks to get those ashes out of his hair. 

Poor Draco... he'd just have to get over it. Once Draco got past the crazy, he'd realize how hard it was to not fall for a member of the Black family once they've chosen you. After all, they'd give you the world if you asked for it, and all they asked for in return was that you listen to them. You didn't even have to submit to their will, though, that would be near impossible. 

Besides, the protection was fabulous, as most people just generally didn't want to fuck with the Black family. Really, only insane people would try to do anything to the Black family, and nine times out of ten, that insane person was also part of the Black family. 

Yes, they really needed to remove that mark, because if Walburga found out that Voldemort tried to claim her favorite Nieces husband, no matter how much she may hate that husband, well, the world would burn. And though the woman probably already knew, Lucius rather not be caught in the cross fire if Voldemort did end up coming back.


	6. Now you see why that can't happen

Harry Potter was not fond of his friends being... hazed. No, he had always been taught to keep the ones you care for close, and if they can't take care of themselves, do it for them. 

So when he noticed the hazing... he was not okay with it. Who did those Slytherins and Gryffindors think they were? Nobody messed with his people. Yes, his people. He had grown attached to Daphne, Ron, and Draco. Just like he had grown attached to his father figures and his grandmother. He was attached to them, and he would not let them be hurt. He knew they could handle themselves, there was no question about it. He generally only attached himself to strong people, and they could defend themselves, and they would survive. 

It was just the fact that he cared too much to let it happen. There shouldn't be a need for them to guard themselves in a school, where they should be learning, and having fun. They were  _his_ people, and he would be damned if he was going to let Voldemort's people and Dumbledore's people push them around. They were under his protection, and his protection was  _absolute_. He was Harry Potter-Lupin-Black, and these were people who had stood by him, even if Draco was reluctant to take the leap of faith that would lead him to the craziest calm he had ever seen in the entirety of his life. 

He wasn't worked up about it. He wasn't concerned about it. This hazing would end, because he wasn't worked up about it, he was livid about people daring to move in on his people, trying to bully them into being something they weren't. If Dumbledore, who was supposed to be in charge of the student's well-being, wasn't going to step back, and if Voldemort, who was currently nothing more than a wraith, wasn't going to step back... Well that only meant that he would have to push them back with the force of everything inside of him. 

So when he rose from the part of the Slytherin table he was sitting at, standing with the posture of a very powerful Lord, well, it was easy to say that some people were a bit unnerved. Minerva McGonagall knew that something was going to happen, as the boy who usually looked happy, looked fairly dangerous on the morning of October 3rd, 1991. 

It was more unnerving when the pressure of his intoxicating magic started to leak into the air. 

"It has come to my attention that some people who would probably like to remained unnamed have been... hazing Daphne Greengrass, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy. Well, It has been over a month, and I have let it slide for far too long." The words fell from his tongue, as cold and slick as ice. It was a dangerous tone, and anyone who could think properly would obviously know that now was not the time to oppose him. Not when he was like this. He had come from a long line of the most powerful duelers that Britain had seen in ages. They may have had craziness, but they also had the magical abilities to back it up. 

"Mr. Potter, I think now would be a good time to have a seat and take this up with me in private." Dumbledore was an old fool, and apparently believed that he could get The Potter-Lupin-Black boy to stop when he had already started. 

"I think now would be a wonderful time to do your job and stop the nonsense that you have caused, but since that wont be happening, I think I will continue for now." His eyes looked as if they were trying to send cutting curses at the old man. 

"Now, as I was saying, I will personally handle any and all problems that you try and present to Draco Malfoy, Daphne Greengrass, and Ron Weasley. They are under my protection, and believe me, you do not want me to get angry." His glare would have been strong enough to make thunder storms end, and each professor sitting at the staff table was almost shocked. They would have been more shocked had they not seen the wrath of the Black family before, but alas, almost all of them had seen the same wrath before, and only held a slight sense of wariness over what might happen if someone does not heed his warning. 

Quirrell quickly made his way back to his rooms, where he could pace in peace. 

So this was the power of the young Black heir? That magic was so similar to Voldemort's, and yet, so very different. If the boy was that powerful at eleven, it was almost incomprehensible what his true power levels would be when he reached his maturity. s

"Who would have guessed that being adopted into the Black family would have had this effect on the boy." Voldemort's voice came out as a whisper behind the turban. He was mentally calculating how that would be possible... Something just wasn't adding up. 

* * *

 

Walburga smiled at her son as he sat in the corner, hiding himself in the shadows. Her smile was tight, as if she were trying her best to hold it up, despite her being happy. She gripped the glass in her hand so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. 

"Kreacher, get Sirius and Remus immediately." Her tone left no room for argument from the son sitting before her. 

"Yes mistress." and in no time, Remus and Sirius were sitting beside the other man, as Walburga leveled them all with an unreadable look. 

"Would any of you care to explain what you have been hiding." Walburga let the words fall from her mouth heavily. 

"Goddammit Regulus can you ever keep a secret?" Sirius glared at his younger brother.

"Oh, I don't know, I've only been a spy for this family for the better part of fifteen years, so you tell me, Sirius, can I ever keep a secret?" Regulus shot an identical glare at his older brother. 

"Shit, I guess we have to explain ourselves. To be fair, I had very little to do with the secret. I only found out after Harry was born." Remus threw that out there before anyone else could tell her what was going on. There was no way he was going down with the sinking ship when he wasn't the captain. He had held on for long enough, and now he was ready to jump onto the safety of the life boat. 

"I see, and what exactly was figured out when my grandson was born?" Her smile was false, it was false, it was a trap, abort mission, abort mission, Remus Lupin-Black, that life boat had no bottom, it was all an illusion and you just jumped into the shark infested waters.

"That he was your grandson." Sirius stated as Regulus refused to make eye contact with his mother. 

"And who would his father be?" That was a question that Regulus wasn't going to answer, and Remus already determined that his failed safety attempt was enough and that he would rather not dig his hole deeper, so he was just going to keep his mouth shut. So that only left Sirius to explain. 

"It was supposed to be a big secret. Regulus came to me a few months before Harry was born, he was freaking out. There was a problem. He had been having an affair with Lily Potter and then she had fell pregnant. there was no way she could be talking a contraceptive while her and James were trying to have a baby. But the chances that it was James' baby were fairly slim... So of course, since I was closer to both of them, I should have been able to cast the spell to see who the father was. 

"I faked an injury, so James and Remus were racing on brooms, which meant that I was able to cast the spell that would reveal who the father was. Of course, it was Regulus. Naturally I covered for him. I told James that one of the nights that we had gotten really really plastered, one that was close enough to when Lily had gotten pregnant, we had made a mistake. We told him that there was a slight chance that the baby could be mine. Of course, he didn't know that there was a way to trick the spell. He didn't care that he would be raising his best friend's baby, because he loved both of us so much that he had said that it would be an honor, and that he knew that I would do the same for him," Sirius looked at his mother and sighed deeply, 

"We had to keep the family tree from showing Harry under Regulus' name or my name, so naturally I had to break into the house before Harry was born. He was already there, since he was going to be born in two months. So I tore the family library apart in search of a way to conceal him. Of course, there was nothing in the library, as that would make it easy to hide affairs. But nothing like that had ever stopped me before. This was a matter of life and death, because if you or grandfather found out that Harry was supposed to be here instead of with the Potters, then you would have gone to retrieve him and then everything would be ruined. So I did the one thing that none of you would ever think that could be done to the family tree... I made a new one and placed it over the old one, they were absolutely identical, besides Harry being on the old one..." He looked at his mother as she seemed to freeze. 

She was looking at him with what could only be described as shock, and maybe a bit of awe. 

"You... created a completely different family tree that nobody else in the family could detect as different? And you did this all while risking being caught just so you could save your brother from possible death?" Regulus and Remus both stared at the woman as she walked out of the room and ran to the room that contained the family tree. She had always known that Sirius was a genius, and that he cared for Regulus far mote than he cared about most things... but to go to the extents that he had just to keep his affair with Lily Potter a deep dark secret...

He was insane, more so than most people in their family, and he was powerful, and he may have been just like her, but he was also far more powerful. He had a sway that she never had. He created connections with people that rarely made connections with dark families... 

He shouldn't have been in Slytherin... he was far to cunning to be put into Slytherin. He was far too much of a Black to ever let an entire school know his true self...

"I'm very proud of you, Sirius." Even though she had whispered it, it almost seemed to echo through the house.

"I didn't do any of it so you could be proud. I only did it so he wouldn't die. I knew James Potter. I knew what he would do if he had found out that it was Regulus who had slept with his wife... He humiliated Severus Snape every day for nearly six years just because Snape dared to  _talk_ to her... If he had found out that it wasn't just a drunken accident between me and her... if he had found out that Regulus had been with her half the times she had said that she was with Alice Longbottom. Well, let's just say I would kill James before I'd let him lay a finger on Regulus." Sirius' eyes had turned hard at the thought of James Potter and what could have happened to Regulus if he had found out and Sirius wasn't there when James caught up with. 

"I know, and that is why your brother has always looked up to you, and also partially why I'm proud of you." Regulus took this as the time to but in.

"I couldn't raise him, I was only seventeen, and I had been a spy for the family for three years. I was already in too deep to take care of a child. Not to mention that James Potter would try to hunt me down if Lily had given me the child. I needed Sirius. I knew that he could handle it." Regulus looked almost ashamed that he had to get Sirius to help him with the trouble he had gotten into so many years ago.

"So Harry has absolutely no idea who his real father is?" Walburga raised an eyebrow as she looked at all three of her sons. One may have been her Son-In-Law, but he was still her son.

"He has no idea, and he can't know yet. It's important that he doesn't know until he knows occlumency. Dumbledore cannot know about it. For now, Harry just needs to know that his father has been watching him since he was a baby, and that he loves him very much." Remus stated as he stared at each of them carefully. 

"Yes, Dumbledore can't know about Regulus being Harry's father. Even James didn't want him to know. He knew that Dumbledore would try to poison him from his own son. James may have not been the father of Harry, but he cared for him like a father. That, and Lily would murder him if Dumbledore tried to take her son." Sirius was smirking slightly at thinking about Lily Potter's temper.

"So we have to start training him. He knows a little occlumency, but not nearly enough for this secret. We will start training him over the yule holiday. It wont take as long as it would for a  normal person, but it will be some time before he will be able to keep Dumbledore out perfectly." Walburga smirked widely, Dumbledore wouldn't know what hit him. The man couldn't read her grandsons maze of a mind very well as it was, the only way he could read Harry's mind perfectly would be if he concentrated on that and only on that. Harry's mind had always been confusing. 

She remembered asking him if she could enter his mind once, only to be greeted by dark corridors and doors without knobs, and wild creatures that protected his mind. She figured out how to navigate it pretty quickly, but that was only because he let her in. She could only imagine what it would have been like if he didn't want her in. 

There was no doubt that her grandson was an anomaly. She was sure that she could scour the world and wouldn't be able to find someone who had that much natural talent at occlumency at the age of eleven. His mind was guarded, but she had no idea if Dumbledore would be able to sneak past his defenses. Besides, she could only imagine either of her sons faces when they realized just how good he was at protecting his mind. The only other person who knew was Remus, and it seemed he was in on the plan of letting them find out themselves. 

Maybe they'd even set it up to be on a Thursday... 

They'd just have to see how things worked out. 

* * *

Meanwhile, Harry was watching every potential Bully with a level of scorn that would remain unmatched. Like he had said earlier, he had let it go on long enough, and it would never happen again. Not on his watch.

He wasn't letting his people go anywhere alone... So far he had at least three detentions for following Daphne into the Girls Lavatory, all of which he didn't plan on showing up to, as he was going to be spending the night in the Slytherin dorms, watching... waiting.  Wondering if anyone would be stupid enough to defy his orders to leave them alone. His best bet on someone who would be stupid enough to do it would have to be the upper year Slytherins and Gryffindors. They were all too prideful to think a first year could beat them. 

* * *

Inside Marcus Flints room there were a few gathered to decide whether they would be continuing their little games or not. It was Pucey, Montague, Higgs, and Flint himself. 

"I say we do it, after all, it was just a show. That's why he did it in front of all of those people." Higgs seemed convinced that they were stronger than the younger boy. 

"He was raised by Sirius Black, Walburga Black, and a known werewolf. Do you really think they wouldn't prepare him for things like this? DO you really think he could survive in a house with two people who absolutely hate each other if he wasn't powerful? He was raised by one of the strongest, most terrifying witches in the world, and her son who just so happens to be the only person who has ever openly rebelled her, stood toe to toe with her, and possibly beaten her when it has come to a stand still?" Pucey was glaring at Higgs like he was stupid. 

"Pucey may be right. The Blacks are one of the most influential families in the entire wizarding world. They might even be the most influential. I don't think they would leave their young heir defenseless... not to mention going against him might very well be similar to calling war on their family, and if you haven't heard what Walburga Black has done to Lucius and Abraxas Malfoy, then you're lucky." Flint knew getting on the Black family Heir's bad side would be a mistake that would go down in history. 

"Sorry Higgs, but I'm going to have to go with Flint and Pucey on this. I'd rather not die from a curse from the most extensive library of dark curses that has ever been discovered." Montague didn't want his place as one of the Slytherin leaders to be snatched from under him because he lost a duel to the Black family heir. It was never wise to pick a fight with someone whose abilities were almost completely unknown. 

"Then I guess our decision is made. We will leave them be... for now." Flint dismissed their little meeting, letting the seething Higgs leave his dorm as the other two stayed behind. 

"He's going to go and try to attack one of them, I can already tell." Montague whispered as Higgs stormed away.

"That's the point. He's going to be our test Dummy. If the boy takes him down, then we know that messing with him wont be the best of ideas... If he almost takes him down then we know that the boy will only get better... and if Higgs beats him to a pulp, then we know whose going to go missing by the hands of Walburga Black. It's a well known secret on our side of society that Walburga favors Potter-Lupin-Black far more than anyone else... and everyone thought she loved Regulus Black to the ends of the earth... Her love for this boy goes far beyond that." Flint's response was appropriate for their situation. Only a bloody fool would go after the heir of the Black family. 

"Now we just have to wait and see how the fireworks play out." Pucey's wicked smirk would have been enough to make Higgs think twice about his decision... it was a shame that Higgs was no longer in the room.

 

 


	7. Now you see why that can't happen (part 2)

Terence Higgs had made a big mistake. He had made a big, very awful mistake. 

He hadn't messed with Ronald Weasley... He hadn't messed with the most obvious target... of course not. He hadn't messed with Draco Malfoy, no, because Malfoy had enough sway on his own. But goddammit, he just had to mess with one of them. Of course he had to mess with one of them. 

He chose the wrong one. 

He chose the very wrong option out of all of the wrong options that he had to choose from. 

He chose Daphne Greengrass, and if there was ever anything that Harry had learned while growing up in a house with Walburga, it was that he was to treat Daphne like a princess. He was to treat her like the royal guards treat the princess... Kill all intruders... kill all betrayers... kill all who think they can waltz in and touch the princess without anyone's permission. 

And Higgs had done just that. He had waltzed into the castle and tried to attack the princess. Correction, he had walked into the castle and attacked the princess. 

So naturally, sitting in the Slytherin common room, Harry was dangerously close to murdering everyone. He sat on the black leather couch with one leg crossed over the other, a look of seething anger that was actually keeping some of the second years from even looking in his direction. 

Marcus Flint sat across from him, staring into those seething Green eyes, they were vivid, and angry, and captivating enough in the fierce storm that they were swirling in, Marcus couldn't look away. He couldn't help but compare them to what the killing curse was supposed to look like. The sheer anger in them leading Marcus to believe that this boy before him would have absolutely no problem with murdering Higgs and anyone who tried to stop him from murdering him. 

"Flint, I just want one thing... Tell me where Higgs is." The piercing eyes promised nothing but pain if Marcus dared to lie. 

"He will be entering the common room any minute now. I guarantee that he will be smug. Very smug. He will think that he has won." Marcus met the boys eyes with a stubbornness that the boy before him appreciated.

"Then we will wait. He has not won against me, as he has never faced me. But he will learn. Because defying me like this... it promises pain. I guess he must be a masochist, and what can I say... I'm a people pleaser." His smile was like that of Death's... It should have been the last thing you saw before you disappeared forever.

"Everyone thought he was all tough. But here I am, completely unscathed." Higgs caught sight of the boy he was talking about when he heard an icy voice. 

"For now." The sight of those deadly green eyes did nothing to quell the stupidity that Higgs had somehow developed during his lifetime. 

"Come to apologize and beg for us not to do anything else?" Higgs must have been hit with the stupid stick multiple times, because it was obvious that this confrontation was going to end in a massacre. It was as if he was trying to impress his fellow slytherins.... Well they were impressed alright, impressed with how stupid a single individual could be. 

"I have no reason to apologize, Higgs. In fact, I believe that it's the other way around... well, it's too late. I do believe I will have to make an example of you... though, I find that I probably won't mind hurting you." The boy took this time to stand and stride in the direction of the elder slytherin. 

Higgs on the other hand, became still. It was in the way that the boy was majestically gliding towards him, it was in the way that the boy kept eye contact the entire time... everything in him screamed for him to run, but he couldn't He couldn't move... Even if he could, he couldn't run. He had provoked the boy, he had said that the Black family heir was weak... and the reality of the situation was crashing down on him. 

The boy didn't move like the Potter family had. He didn't have a bounce in his step, he didn't boastfully spread his arms to bring a cheer.

He moved like a striking snake. He moved with the type of grace that he had only heard about from his parents... was it tragic to say that the boy moved the way that his parents had described to him in stories about the war when he was younger. He moved the way they had said that Bellatrix Le Strange moved before the battle begun... He moved the way that his parents had described their strongest enemy on the battlefield, Sirius Black. 

He couldn't let that affect him. He had to be stronger than that.

"I don't think I'll be the one who gets hurt, child." Oh Merlin what had he done? He just called the boy a child. 

"I guess we'll have to see, Let's begin your lesson on manners. Impedimenta*. Stupefy. Diffindo." It was one after another after another, and the casting speed was impressive for a forth year, let alone a first year. Not to mention the spell choices. 

"Incendio, Confundo!" Higgs struck back, and it started to be one big war zone of two people shooting spell after spell at the other. Seventh years were dragging first years out of the way, bringing all of the students in the common room, besides the two fighting, into a group so they could cast a shield around them. There would be no interference in the fight.

"Confringo!" It barely missed Higgs, and Potter-Lupin-Black was turning the common room into a waste land. The spell had made contact with a sofa, promptly catching it on fire.

"Reducto!" Higgs made contact with the Black heir's arm, not his wand arm, but his arm nonetheless. The pained noise that came from the younger boy's mouth was something that didn't sound human, a high pitched whine that just about split eardrums. But the injured boy kept going... and he looked angrier. 

"Ventus! Ventus, Ventus!" He hit Higgs with the same spell three times. Pushing him back farther and farther with the Hurricane like winds, and proceeding to send half of the things in the common room in the direction of the giant windows that showed the Black lakes depths. They were coated in old magic, so they wouldn't be broken, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to be slammed into them. 

Harry wasn't going to let it end there... Not with the added turmoil of  his now shattered arm. He felt the muscles being destroyed. 

"Silenco, Stupefy, Finestra." It was only the windows showing the depths of the lake that were protected from strong spells, but hitting a lamp with a spell like Finestra, which was meant to shatter glass, a lamp right next to were Higgs was passed out. Broken glass rained down on his unconscious body. 

Higgs held in for fifteen minutes against the boy, and the boy definitely wasn't strong enough to take on Snape, Dumbledore, or at least three Slytherin seventh years, but Higgs was a fifth year, and he had been beat because he thought that the boy would stop when his arm was destroyed. 

It was then that Snape burst into the common room. It was nearing the end of the battle when a seventh year sent a third year to get their Head of house. It had become obvious that the fight was getting out of control. 

"What is going on here?" His voice was harsh, and he stared at the common room in horror. Sofas were on fire, there was broken glass all over the place, tables and chairs were destroyed. The common room was in bits and pieces. It looked like a warzone. Not to mention the two students who had been engaged in the fight. 

"Higgs here decided that Daphne Greengrass was a suitable person to attack. I deemed it otherwise... So that started a little... Disagreement." Snape stared in horror at the first year before him. Taking in the boy's appearance, he noted that his left arm hung limply beside him, and seemed to be horribly broken. Taking a look at Higgs, he could tell who was worse off. Higgs was knocked out, crumpled on the floor in an awkward position. It seemed that he had something broken. Snape could almost see what happened in his head. It was obvious that Higgs had been slammed against the windows. 

"Hospital wing first, and then the Headmaster's office. I don't know what the bloody hell you two were thinking, but I'll see to it that you have detention for at least a month." With that, he awoke Higgs, "You both stay here so I can get Madame Pomfrey. She'll want to help me escort the both of you to the Hospital wing. For Merlin's sake, watch them closely, and don't let them fight anymore, not that I believe they have any power left to fight." Snape stormed to the painting that led to his private rooms, going to floo call the Poppy. 

Harry made eye contact with Higgs, who was still on the floor.

"Don't you ever dare touch any of them every again Higgs... Or I'll do worse. I may be in pain, but I guarantee you have a longer stay with Poppy than I do." It was most likely true, as there was probably something wrong with his back, or his skull. 

Everyone in the common room could assure the rest of the school that Harry Potter-Lupin-Black would destroy them, or at least harm them, even if it meant that he would also get injured.

* * *

 

Luna Lovegood was missing her friends dearly, and she was bored. At some point, she had started to randomly appear in front of Sirius while he was in Grimmuald place and she would demand entertainment...

A bored Luna Lovegood was a dangerous Luna Lovegood. She was the main little fire starter out of the four maniacal children, and she was the only one near Sirius, Regulus Walburga, and Remus.

"Osh mon, Gilde Fon, Kun dah! Osh mon Gilde fon, Kun dah!" She was speaking no known language as she chanted over the candle, in the middle of the circle... They had no idea what was happening, the only thing that the four Adults knew was that she said it was for the other three children, and that it was important that they watch, but they do not interrupt. 

It was important that they stood around her, one in front of her, one behind her, and two by her sides. They were not to speak, nor were they to touch each other. but they were each to reach their palm out in her direction. Regulus had to be the one in front of her, as she knew all of their secrets, therefore if he did not stand there then she would tell Harry that Regulus was his father. 

It was only when she stopped, blew out the candle, and stood, that they were allowed to put down their arms. They didn't know what she had done, but they felt tired... They assumed it was from holding their arms in the air for so long without being allowed to move, talk, or do anything at all. 

Luna grinned as they all went to get food. They would never have to know that she had taken just a little magic from each of them and sent it through Harry's body so he could perform the spells he did during his battle with Terence Higgs. The reason Regulus Black had to be facing her was so that she could use their blood connection. She could have used Sirius or Walburga, but it wouldn't have worked nearly as well as it had. 

She may not have been at Hogwarts, but her friends kept her updated, and Harry had requested her help on this specific mission. It was to protect Daphne, and Luna helped protect her, even if she wan't at Hogwarts. Nobody would mess with her friends... or they would feel the Wrath of Kronos. She would summon ancient evil if she had to. Any of them would summon ancient evil to destroy those who dared to mess with their friends... As unbelievable as it was, out of all four of them, Harry was the most merciful. The other three would have demolished Higgs and thrown him into the Black lake. They would have beaten him outside, where everyone could see... and then they'd drown him. 

* * *

 

Draco Malfoy, the Brunette, stared at Harry Potter-Lupin-Black with pure and utter astonishment. He had seen a similar side to the boy, but not to this extent. He had no idea that the boy would go so far to protect his friends... or him. Harry was protective, and he destroyed Higgs. 

"Harry Potter-Lupin-Black! What the hell were you thinking?" Pamona Sprout couldn't keep herself from cursing in front of the students. This child could have been seriously injured... no scratch that, he was seriously injured. His whole arm was mangled on the inside, and the outside was almost as gory. She was terrified for him. It was commendable to stand up for those you care about, but to destroy a whole common room and battle someone in a fight that caused both parties to be seriously injured... That was just horrendously stupid. 

"I'm not sorry for what I did. That bloody bastard deserved it." He would have crossed his arms, but he was physically incapable of doing so. 

"I don't care how much he deserved it, you put an entire house and yourself in danger. Any number of things could have happened. What if that spell had hit you in the head? What if your spell that literally set a bunch of things on fire had hit him in the head?" Harry suddenly frowned at the last part.

"Actually, I was quite unpleased when it didn't hit him in the head, but when a person moves, they move I guess." Pamona looked ready to hit the boy before her, but she would save that for when he was all healed. 

Draco took this as his time to but in.

"Harry, what would I have done if hi shad hit you in the head. You already claimed that you are going to marry me, and even in your death, nobody would want to try and marry someone that the Black family heir has decided to marry... I'd be left alone forever." Harry seemed to think about what Draco said before his eyes lit up.

"I would return from the dead to keep you from being alone, My dear Draco. Nothing would stop me from marrying you, not even Terence Higgs' spell hitting me in the head." That worried Draco slightly, as he was just saying that to try and get the boy to see reason, and he still didn't want to accept that he was going to be forced to marry the boy before him.

But that was quickly pushed away for another concern. He couldn't believe he had actually grown to care that Harry got injured, but to be fair, it could have been him that Higgs had attacked. Harry had essentially gotten hurt so the rest of them wouldn't have to. Daphne had been hit by a boil curse, and while that was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to almost losing a whole arm.

Draco was glad that the boy was okay... 

He was also glad that since the boy was in the hospital wing, he wouldn't have to be worried about taking anymore trips down the moving stairs on mattresses. 

Dear Merlin, he had no idea what he would do with himself without having the ever-living fear of being drug down the stairs at any moment, but he was sure he would find some way to spend his time... A less dangerous way to spend his time, that was for sure.

Though, to be fair, running at the whomping willow would prove to be less dangerous than hanging out with Harry Potter-Lupin-Black.


	8. In what order should his name be? and how do we mention who his father is? Lets improvise.

Harry Potter-Lupin-Black woke up quickly, and suddenly. It was in no way like movies would portray, with Draco sleeping next to him. Oh no, Harry woke up with a sudden jerk, Sending Draco falling to the floor. Draco had been at the edge of the other boys bed when he suddenly flew up and looked around. 

It was almost like he resurrected from the dead, and all of that peacefulness that was about his unconscious body disappeared, leaving Draco with a chaotic looking and awfully confused person to deal with.

Draco found, that in an unsettling way, he had missed that chaotic look. That thought made him want to jump out of the hospital wing window, because that look only meant trouble and Draco honestly just wanted to have a peaceful year, but  Harry really knew how to prevent that from happening. 

"Oh, Draco, darling, acquainting yourself with the floor are you?" At this point, the boy whose name contained way too many hyphens was peering over the edge of the bed, looking at Draco with amusement. 

"You scared me you idiot! Why the bloody hell did you wake up like that? I almost thought you were possessed!" Harry tilted his head to the side as Draco yelled at him. 

"I always wake up like that... You should know that by now. And you've been hanging around Ron waaaay too much. His language is rubbing off on you." Draco stood, glaring at Harry the entire time.

"I know you usually wake up like that, but you've been asleep for three days, and I thought that you'd wake up in a different way. Shows how stupid I am to believe you could ever wake up like a normal human." Harry smirked as he swung his legs off the edge of the bed.

"Indeed it does, but lets not insult ourselves, my dear. I'd rather not have to tell people I'm going to marry an idiot!" Draco tackled him back onto the bed. He was just so infuriated with the other boy. First he spent an entire three days unconscious and then he had the audacity to behave like everything was normal.

"Stupid, you stupid idiot. Bloody fucking twat. Go bugger a bloody hippogryff, son of a slag who smokes dragon dung!" Draco had rolled off of the other boy at this point, realizing that him laying on the other boy would only encourage him. His spouting of insults only seemed to amuse Harry to a greater extent. 

"Aw, I'm glad you missed me." Harry climbed out of the bed as Madame Pomfrey came rushing into the room. 

"What was all that fus- Get back into that bed right this instance young man!" Harry held his hands up in surrender as he plopped back into the bed.  

"Honestly, I'm feeling fine now. I guess I just really needed sleep!" Harry really shouldn't have said that. Madame Pomfrey was going to murder the boy herself. The audacity that it took to say those words when he had just woken up from a three day coma due to Magic depletion. 

"You used so much magic that you could have died! You will not leave that bed until I finish the tests to confirm that you are absolutely fine. If I find even one single sign that something is wrong then I swear to Merlin you will be kept here for at least one more night!" She was most certainly not playing around, but since when did that stop the other boy from taking everything she said as a joke. 

"Yes Madame. One flaw in my health and I shall never leave this bed ever again!" His mock salute almost made Draco tackle him again. You'd think he'd be more concerned that he had been in a coma for three days because he almost used enough magic to actually kill him. 

"I heard you had woken up, but I didn't think you'd already be raising hell. I suppose I should have guessed that you would be." Remus was looking down at him with a bright smile. At least someone was being nice to him since he woke up. 

"We're is Grandmother? And Sirius? Is there murder happening? Thank Merlin's saggy balls that you're here, this crazy woman wants to keep me here for the rest of my life!" Remus shook his head at the over dramatic act. He just woke up and he was already causing trouble... well, that wasn't actually that surprising, but Remus wished that it was. 

"Sirius and Walburga are currently destroying Dumbledore's office. I believe the last thing I heard as I escaped with my life was Walburga screaming 'I swear to Merlin's bloody slag of a mum that if you ever try to withhold the fact that my baby is in the hospital wing ever again I will break Grindelwald out of prison just to destroy you.' and that's when I heard you woke up and came running." Harry started to cackle loudly at that. That did sound like his grandmother. 

Draco had started to look pale at that. Walburga Black was in the school. Remus turned to the pale boy with a wide smile on his face. 

"Hello, you must be Draco Malfoy, by Morgana you truly do look more like your mother with that hair. I'm Remus Lupin, one of Harry's guardians." Draco almost flinched when the man stuck out his hand. The man was beautiful in a dangerous way, and it actually made Draco start to think about how beautiful everyone around Harry tended to be. Not purposefully, but Beautiful people made up Harry's entire family. 

 "Pleasure to meet you, Lupin-"

"Remus." Draco was interrupted by the man as he grasped his hand. 

"But-"

"Forget your manners unless you're talking to Walburga. Sirius will think you stuffy and undeserving of Harry... that will only lead to accidents which will cause bodily harm to Sirius himself, and possibly everyone else in the vicinity." Draco paled farther than he already had. He was going to die... He was going to offend either Walburga or Sirius Black, and therefore he would die. 

"Remus, stop scaring him, he's going to be so nervous to meet them that he won't get a word out when they turn up. You're so nasty." Remus smirked widely.

"What can I say, it's amusing to watch him get paler and paler. Besides, I feel like they will find it endearing if he can't get a single word out. That might just be his saving grace." 

"REMUS!" 

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself." If Remus' smirk was anything to go by, they would be turning up fairly soon. 

"Well you better learn quickly or I swear to Morgana I'll push you out a window. Stop scaring him." As the words left his mouth three people came bursting into the Hospital Wing. 

"Now I really must say that you cannot be coming here. Students are trying to h-" Dumbledore was quickly cut off by Walburga.

"I'll destroy you, that is my grandson and I will not stand to be kept from him." Walburga's glare was wicked.

"If you think you can keep me from Harry then you underestimate my magic greatly." Sirius hissed as he stormed forward. Draco, who just so happened to be watching the entire commotion seemed to pale drastically. Walburga Black looked like a seething Dragon, and Sirius Black's anger, even thought not directed at him, had sent a paralyzing shiver down his spine.

This was Harry's family, and he would do best to remember that. They were his family, and it was obvious exactly where he got his crazy from. 

"Granny Walburga!" Harry had jumped up, ignoring madame Pomfrey's complaint, and ran towards the woman who looked absolutely murderous. What happened next shocked Draco and Dumbledore so badly that they would never bring it up to anyone else, for fear that they would be called mad and locked away.  

Walburga Blacks look of anger seemed to melt away as soon as she laid eyes on her Grandson, and the second he reached her she was fawning over him, looking him over to make sure the Medi-witch had done her job to the absolute perfection. 

"My poor baby! I am so sorry the mean Dumbledore man would not let me in here or I would have been here when you woke up. I cannot believe that that awful Higgs boy is still allowed to attend school here. I will see to it that his parents go through hell for raising such an awful hell-spawn. I cannot believe how far Slytherin must have fallen to allow that boy in." Walburga was holding the boy as if he were a baby, and Harry looked absolutely content with the way his Grandmother was treating him. 

"Yes Grandmother, I'm sure you will take care of everything... Let Daphne's parents help you as well, I'm sure her mother and father are far from pleased about Terence Higgs' awful behavior towards her," a look of realization and eagerness seemed to suddenly appear on his face, "Oh, Grandmother! I do believe you only met Draco when he was a baby! Well, here he is! Draco, this is my Grandmother! I'm sure you will both get along swimmingly." Harry suddenly jumped out of her arms to drag a reluctant Malfoy over to meet Walburga. 

"Hello Ma'am, It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Draco Malfoy of the ancient and noble house of Malfoy." He stuck his hand out to her in a polite manner, remembering what Remus had said earlier about having to be respectful when she was around. 

It seemed to have paid off, as she looked down at him with slight approval and allowed him to kiss her hand. 

Suddenly remembering that they had very important news for Harry, she nodded to the Malfoy and turned to her Grandson.

"Harry, when you come home for break, we will be getting up to... something very interesting." She was trying to filter her words so that Dumbledore couldn't get even the slightest hint of what they would be doing. She still had yet to tell the others about how Harry's mind was set up, as it would make for a funny surprise if they didn't know and tried to teach him. 

Harry grinned at her and finally turned to see Sirius getting ready to punch Dumbledore. 

"I SWEAR TO BLOODY MERLIN, IF YOU EVER TRY TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY GODSON... NO IF YOU EVER TRY TO EVEN GIVE ME ADVICE ON WHO MY GODSON SHOULD BE AROUND EVER AGAIN I WILL PULVERIZE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LOVED, STARTING WITH YOUR PRECIOUS ROBES!" Sirius looked like a raging psycho, and by the looks of everyone else in the Hospital wing, everyone believed that he would completely obliterate Dumbledore when it came to the matters of his Godson. 

"Love you to Sirius!" Harry's close eyed smile seemed to light up the entire room, and even seemed to calm Sirius out of beating the old coot into a bloody pulp. 

"Well, now that that is all settled, how about we say goodbye to Har-" As soon as Remus saw the identical looks on Walburga and Sirius' faces he realized that he would have to turn his sentence around real quick to avoid bodily harm. "I mean, spend some quality time with Harry for a bit longer until we need to go home and... handle some things!" The fearful look in his eyes seemed to turn Walburga and Sirius' anger into identical amusement as they both started to chuckle. 

It took three hours for the three adults to leave, and it was only after they all took their turns threatening and then accepting Draco. They even decided to invite him over for New years. 

Draco, of course, was relieved that they accepted him, but also terrified about how they would act when he was in their home for New years. Nonetheless, he accepted. He knew a good offer when he saw one, and there was no way he was going to let his fear keep him from seeing the Black families ancestral home and getting to hang out with Harry. 

 


End file.
